The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am trying to make plans for the new year in the midst of a recession. I am currently unemployed which is good and bad in some ways. In looking back at the last year I think I have still been on the holding on by my finger tips stuff. What happens for me is that I get stuck on survival and then don't do any of the long term stuff I need to in order to change some of my situation. Right now I'm focusing on my health and looking for work. So then getting more support goes out the window. I have only so many hours in the day. Prioritizing is pretty difficult when I'm always running into situations that require me to "survive". I'd be really interested to hear how others transitioned. I do feel I am moving forward but obviously key areas like support, companionship and others go awol for me regularly. I've tried dating and that made me feel more isolated. I also realized I don't ever want to be too dependent on anyone again.
I hear what you are saying and can relate to this too. I guess I am trying as often as I can to look at the 2 steps forward, 1 step back as my new acceptance of normal. We can't do everything all the time, some things like survival become more of a priority today. Yet I've learned that putting all my time into the priority vs a call to a friend rather than a meal with a friend still keeps the support there for me.
When I look back at anything like al anon, my faith etc, I can see plateaus with no growth and even at times a disconnect. Not that that helps at all but I am kinder to myself that though I can't do everything I want to do to take care of me, whatever I do is focused on and I try to remember to be proud of that. Helps me stop the cycle of should've done and beating myself up.
Maybe it is just being more flexible to how we spend our time on things rather than doing the usual routine. Not let it "go out the window" but do less for now and it is still ok to laugh or find a moment of joy in the midst of the hard stuff.
Hang in there! hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
Progress is only that, getting ahead and/or better than before. I use to expect that I would make marvelous longterm positive changes and would have this "Life is just wonderful" attitude all the time until my counselor at the VAism Clinic told me that, "after it is all done and gone and it's time for you to call it quits and you look back over your long road of recovery if you find you have made one inch of growth...you will have been successful."
I was so astounded by his statement I coulda just spit!! It is now 30 years later and I am still astounded that he had so much foresight. It has been a hell of a journery for one inch and it took following all of the suggestions from the people in program and my sponsors to the best of my ability and I still find the desire to keep going because of the progress. Hell who knows, maybe I'll meet him again before "its all over" and I'll have made it two inches. LOL
This is a live daily program. Its a now program only. If I do it good today I will be able to start tomorrow on a higher plane...if I get a tomorrow.
You've done good. You've learned a lot of stuff and helped others with what you have learned. I can't see that you would be less than successful in your progress. There is no where else to go that would not have any greater guarantees of happiness that wouldn't include the risk of being human.
Have a bunch of (((((((hugs)))))))) and thank you for all your support that has helped me work for that second inch.
the VAism Clinic told me that, "after it is all done and gone and it's time for you to call it quits and you look back over your long road of recovery if you find you have made one inch of growth...you will have been successful."
Remember we can each use our own concept of "one inch"!
