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I wrote the post, "Have you ever done this?" Since my son is in a treatment program during the week and drinking dangerously on the weekends, I am thinking IF I report his alcohol poisoning, it should be to his caseworker at the program. They are the ones who are trying to help him and they need to know it is not working. They may or may not then contact the P.O. Does that change any of your opinions, or do most of you still believe let go and let God? I am so confused and I know I am the only one who can make the decision, but my counselor and a friend who formerly worked in rehab believe the caseworker needs to know.
No matter what you decide...Let go and Let God also!!
Getting sober requires honesty on the part of the alcoholic "if" the alcoholic sincerely wants to get and stay sober one day at a time. Of course if the honesty is not there then he's gonna drink because he cannot not drink. He has a compulsion even larger than the edge of death....His counselor knows it, His PO knows it, you know it and your son knows it also. If you are a part of his recovery program such as like a "family" componet or the like then a group confrontation is a great dynamic. If there is not family component you can in all honest call his counselor and tell that person that you have serious concerns and would like to air them out in front of the counselor and your alcoholic son at the earliest time. If you are allowed to do this I would suggest that you don't pre-alert your alcoholic before hand. My experience as a substance abuse, alcoholism counselor reveals that courage and often "random acts of mercy" on the part of a partner made of positive change. Yeah they can sometimes get angry about it but thats no biggie consider ing how close to death he may have come. You could lose him anyway inspite of all you caring. You could also attempt the same thing with the PO I think but call first and see if it is protocol.
You can't get him sober but you can make it harder for him to drink.
Keep coming back and continue to "Let go and Let God!!"
I would do all of the foot work to keep him safe. I would call the PO, the social worker and his boss if he has one. I really would. Not out of anger but out of fear for his life. A's don't ever intend on drinking themselves to death. but it happens. If it were me, I would be using every single resourse out there to help me keep my child safe, sane and sober.
I can "hear" the struggle in your post, trying to decide what is "right" versus what you feel you need to do.
Your story reminds me of one I heard at a meeting where a mom called her son's probation officer to tell him that her son was drinking and driving. This was particularly painful for her because she lost her other son and his wife to a drunk driver just a few years ago. When she first told the story she spoke of how her son felt betrayed and called her with words of hatred for ratting him out. She was so sad. That share was about a year and a half ago. She spoke again at a meeting just a few weeks ago, and told of her son's recovery, how she heard him speak at an aa meeting, how he wants to go to college to be a drug and alcohol counselor, and how he tells her that every day he is thankful that she made that call to save his life. Miracles happen.
Pray about it and listen for an answer. You'll know what to do.
Blessings, Lou
-- Edited by Loupiness at 00:13, 2009-01-22
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
Well I wouldn't say that it is omnipotent that you hold your son's fate in your hands. I use to feel that so much with the ex A whenever I "helped" him. Guess what when I stopped helping me he stayed alive, he stayed using drugs and he seems to be managing quite well. Whenever I am in the position of needing to act and step in I have to look at what are the repercussions for me. What do I need to do to take care of me. There is no question your son's drinking will have dire consequences. If he carries on as he is the consequences won't come from your phone call they will come from his actions.
If you are prepared to deal with is backlash which you know will come, make the phone call. If you aren't don't do it. You know what will happen if you make the call he'll lash out. Hopefully he will be in jail. Neverthless you need to be prepared for it. I hope you seek out all the support you can regardless of what actions you take. Your son's actions will lead him to jail there is no question about that. On his course that is absolutely inevitable.
