The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi...I graduated from LPN school! How- I really wonder w/ all the hell I have allowed myself to go thru this last year, but regardless, I did. Question. I have an interview to work at the methadone clinic here in town, I find this to be very compelling and something I may be interested in doing. However, would I be putting myself in yet another codependency situation? Would this be feeding the needs I have or can I work there and be "seperated" from the feelings of having to "Make them better" and look for "victims" to help." Am I feeding the fire? I am confused what to do... I'm having such a hard time. With life in general really. ABF is still refusing help, still not working or looking, sees his dghtr once a week maybe if he wants a booty call, and ignoring what I need and expect. Why should this suprise me right? He wants to come home. He will be evicted soon. I will be honest w/ you. Everything in me says NOOOO, but my dependency is trying to win. I feel horrible...just wish I could fade away... why can I never ask for -hell- demand what I need in life?
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People may not remember what you did or what you said but they will remember how you made them feel...
Congratulations for graduating! I think I would just go to the interview and see what happens. For me, asking those questions, even though they are very valid ones, would be trying to predict the outcome.
My needs are ignored here at home as well by my bf, but I am now starting to see things with my eyes open. I am still having codependency issues, every day pretty much and I am working hard on it.
My daughter (sober quite some time now) is a psychologist and has worked various jobs including methadone clinics. She has a level of detachment that is downright scary at times - it's partly her education, but also some of her own hard-won experience getting sober herself and some years after living with a man who continued to drink and drug. She is able to apply her real-life experience to her job, along with her education, without getting personally involved. I'm impressed. I could not do this myself. I can remain detached from people I know in both Alanon and AA - including a long time friend who relapsed recently after a decade of sobriety. But as a position of authority, seeing the person regularly - I'd have a much harder time of it.
I guess you need to take a look at where you are in your own recovery. In AA we don't necessarily suggest that people with a week's sobriety go on 12-step calls... although that's exactly how it was done in the early days. And we never suggest going it alone. If you do decide to take this job, remember you have your program as well as hopefully co-workers to bounce stuff off of, to get an objective view of any particular situation you may find yourself in. If I have an urge to conceal something like this from a sponsor or fellow Alanoner, that's a warning flag to me - if I know already what they'd say, then I'm practicing denial.
CONGRADULATIONS! I applaud your questioning your motives for working in the treatment field. Many recovering individuals have said it enriches their life because it gives them the chance to carry the message. Because you'll be in direct contact with the families of these people, it would be perfect to keep al-anon newcomer's packet's around. So when families come in, you could say "I don't know if you've heard of al anon, but if you're interested, I have some literature here." If they take it, wonderful! if they don't, that's ok too. However-- You also hit on one of the biggest reasons people in the recovery community eventually transferr to another unit: it's emotionally draining to watch people, day in, day out, sabatoge themselves. There is a high burn out rate. Having said all this, you may want to consider starting here as a path to like psychiatric nursing, family nursing, etc But before I forget, CONGRATS!!!
