The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi gang. Sorry I haven't been around, was busy with the holidays and then had a major panic attack the Fri. after Christmas that left me feeling blah for days. It's getting to the point where I just don't care anymore. My husband decided it was more important to have 150.00 headphones than pay the mortgage. he said he didn't know it needed to be paid. That is one lie, he knows we haven't been able to pay it for two months. Then when the box with the headphones showed up he told me it was a new mouse cause his broke. I honestly don't think he knows when he's lying anymore. I'm so tired of this. I'm trying to deal with my mental health issues, and keep the roof over our heads, everything....He's gone now to play pool and I'm actually happy he's not here. That in and of itself makes me sad. So tomorrow I am joining chior in my church, its something I've been wanting to do for a while. My brother has also asked me to babysit his kids for three more days a week so that will be more money. I need to get some other type of job too, because I don't know how much longer I can hold up my marriage all by myself. I ahve started reading Getting Them Sober, and although my hubby is dry, alot of the same behaviors are there. Its also a very encouraging book. I especially like the little prayers at the end of each chapter.
The ex A I was with had major melt downs about money. Eventually he just played computer games for weeks on end. He didn't do any work and we ended up homeless. I am glad you are taking care of yourself. Have you thought of doing a plan be?
Not yet, I need to get one in the works though. Not sure how to go about that. I know I need to get money saved up first. If worse comes to worse, I can seel the house and live off the profit for a little while.
I relate to the panic attacks...I've got a good one going right now which is a step up from the cronic dythymia. Choir is good!! It use to help me also in early program for lots of reasons the basic one being spiritual. It feels bad thinking and trying to carry the whole ball by yourself but you don't have to. You can sit with other members of the program and listen to their experiences from when they were in your shoes. People who try to find satisfaction from having things hopefully will find a wakeup that will lead to more responsibility. Sometimes spending money and buying things is all about control and security. How bassackwards!!
