The septic guys were all so funny and nice.

Some idiot had "spliced" the power cord from the pump to the power source! Also the last tenants poured GREASE down the drain and clogged it up! $980 almost all my mortgage. So I have to gather up money at the end of the month and the first to make it.

But at least it is done. Hopefully have enough for my ah's life insurance. I will, no matter what I have to do. I don't know how he made it this long, but he has. This is no time not to have the life insurance. It would bring me out of the financial mess the disease has done.

BUT I cannot imagine being in a world without him somewhere! 
Can't go there, I have to paint the house today.

I know many of you don't understand. He lives with his older gal. In my head, he came out of brain surgery retarded/horribly abusive, not the man I have known all my life. I could not live with him,no way. But this gal has taken all the responsibility of him. She has never been rude or anything to me. never.

I always feel so bad for her being an A also, and she is so sickly.She must be close to 60,but looks like 80. to be honest, she could lay down and look dead.

I am glad he has had her.

I love him in so many ways, I don't question it. Now I feel no anger or anything, have not for a long time. I really, really care and am so sad for him and me.

Anyway I have so many people looking at the house. I hope soooo much it rents very soon. I also have a gal who is coming Friday morn to look at the pasture who wants to rent it for her and this other gal for 4H, for $300 flat fee a month. That is major.

I could make this my little space a true home with all my needs.

OH to take a shower with heat!!! And never cold in winter!

thank you for reading you guys. When things are so tough, it is amazing how you guys ralley with me. I need that. thank you!! love,debilyn another rainy windy day in Oregon