The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Lanchas sory you are feeling this way and the funny thing is that I too was questioning the same thing for the last little bit. I felt out of place because I was so young at the face 2 face meetings I have been going to. Lastnight I was so discouraged but I still went and found a meeting that I felt comfortable at even though my sister inlaw and I were the youngest people there.
I find that here at MIP it isn't as bad and find that everyone no matter their age is full of great information to share. If you are feeling out of place try out the alateen board and see how it goes. Keep me posted I think about you as I can relate my past being a child of an a.
But I sure am a different person today at 42 than I was at 18.
I think post in both spots. The meetings I went to I was not the youngest, most were older but had lived with alcoholism for many many years and finally had enough pain and were looking for help.
I really applaud you for realizing the problem and seeking help at such a young age - good for you!
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Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
You came here and to the Al-ATeen message board for some reason. Maybe your HP thinks you can help us instead of us helping you. You seem to be right, most of us are older. But most of us have kids and those kids are dealing with a parent who is an A. You have insight to what they are dealing with that we don't have a clue about. Maybe you were brought here to be our teacher/helper instead of the other way around. I for one have three kids still at home. A boy 15, a girl 13 and a boy 8. I have tried to talk to them about what is going on and I don't know how. I have trouble getting them to open up. I know they feel like they are betraying their A mother to talk to me their Step-Dad. They are in a dificult situation, they have little or nothing to do with their boi-dad and thier mother is an A. They're scared if I leave her they will have to live with their Dad or with their Mom and they are noit happy about either choice. I don't always know what to say to help them and I fear they are facing more problems then I am aware.
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Experience is not what happens to you, it is what you do with what happens to you. Sometimes I'm like a Crash Dummy, I have to beat my head against the wall a few times to "Get it"
I've never been on the al ateen board or meetins, but.....I think trying them both for awhile is a good idea. We don't always get everything we need from one place. You might get some info/help/peace from one group, and somemore of another kind from another group. So, take what you need from each!
Some like Alanon, and some like ACOA (adult children of alcholics). The reader "Hope for Today" is geared towards adult children, and of course, the red "Alateen" book for teens. We blend alateens in with our alanon meetings, and they respond very well. We help them, and they "teach us" oldsters! Hang in there, try different groups, you will find your niche' or your HP will send it your way!
So is your wife an A? I'm a little confused by this part of what you said: " I for one have three kids still at home. A boy 15, a girl 13 and a boy 8. I have tried to talk to them about what is going on and I don't know how. I have trouble getting them to open up. I know they feel like they are betraying their A mother to talk to me their Step-Dad. They are in a dificult situation, they have little or nothing to do with their boi-dad and thier mother is an A. They're scared if I leave her they will have to live with their Dad or with their Mom and they are noit happy about either choice. I don't always know what to say to help them and I fear they are facing more problems then I am aware." Thanks for the support.
