The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just read a post and it really got me to thinking about the situation I have been through/am going through with ExABF-10 yrs sober and in program..... I was thinking driving home how he seems so much happier lately when we talk since I have been in program. He broke up with me, obviously I wasn't good enough......So would I/should I ever consider going back with him now? I mean if I wasn't good enough before, why should I present him with the "good me"-lol....Never occured to me before that all the junk I carried obviously made me "not enough" or maybe "to much-lol" but that was when he walked away instead of walking to me. Knowing the program and seeing my issues "up front and personal" why didn't he try to help me instead of leaving, and now is his continued communication an attempt to get back with the new and improved me??? The other thing stewing in my head is his sobriety........he has been sober and in program for 10yrs........but I realized today (I guess I always knew deep down) that that is not a guarantee.......People have been sober longer and fell off the wagon....... I guess I just got inside my head a bit today asking to many questions.....Do I want to have a life with someone who would want to be with me ONLY after I am fixed, whole and good enough? Do I want to take a chance and invest my life in someone who is an alcoholic and could drink again at any time????? Why did these things just occur to me today?????? Thanks for letting me share....
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
shellyj123, I do not know why those thoughts occured to you today. What I do know is the answers will come much easier because you are in this program. Nothing wrong with th "new and improved you" thinking those thoughts. You just proved to yourself today that your program is working for you. Go girl!!
I used to think I wasn't good enough now I know that is just low self esteem. I believe people with substance abuse issues are great at projecting. Now I want someone entirely different. I know I had no boundaries before. Now boundaries is all I think 24/7. Maresie.
Just to keep it short and simple? When I use to "what if" my sponsor taught me to "what if not"! Gosh a lot of smoke left the building when I learned how to do that.
