Just wanted to share my crazy, sometimes tragic, almost magic, beautiful life, with the A's in my world... My brother is an "A". one of the many in my family... so to me that means, many many 6am calls saying, "please sister save me from jail, get me home, I can't live here I would rather die..."
   Well... He was just in jail one week after I lost our father about a month and half ago, I was so mad that as I came to the phone i could hear them saying the usual, "this is a collect call from the blah blah blah county jail" well I ripped it from the wall and went back to bed... lol..
    Well ... This past sat. morning the phone rang again at 6am, and because of the past 20 times I just "assumed the worst" that is how I have always been... assume the worst so the that the truth wont hurt so much... So I didn't even crawl out of bed... My husband on the other hand did,... He comes back to bed and hands me the phone and says... Call your sister, she sounds upset... (Well... The hole time I am dailing the phone I am cussing under my breathe " how could she call me again about this crap, how could she bail him out again, damn her")
   Well did I get a slap in the face... Here her daughter, my neice, had wrecked her car and been taking to a hospital about an hour or so away... Well of course I was devisated to know about my neice, we are very close, and she is 18 going on 35, but she was fine...
   Sooo...I could not get over the feeling and the blame that I shoved on my brother, and the mad that I thru at him, even tho he had no clue... I still it bothered me... Sooo, I felt like I had to redeam myself for the meanness of my morning...I have been trying to help my brother get into a place, and give him some responsibilty that he can take charge of his own life for once, so I went up and looked the place over, because he isn't in it yet, but he was responsibile for cleaning it... So I went in and it looked unbelievable clean, it was a dump and he really make it nice, all by himself... So from there, I went to were he was staying and felt that I had to tell him what a GREAT Job he did... well I could tell by the look on his face, he was COMPLETELY confussed.. lol... It was funny really... and then it hit me... The old "ME" would have went up on his door step, and just ripped him a new ass..{And really it was the only time I visited... To do the dirty work, my mother or sister couldn't do} I never gave him a chance to talk, or explain because I knew none of it was true... I can still see the confused look on his face, when I walked in, and he was just waiting for the "flip out" he was "Assuming" was coming...Even tho he did nothing wrong, he thought that I knew something he didn't and it was coming full force....lol....
    So the fact that I made my first step into giving him "Possitive" input, in stead of being the big sister that over whelms him, and blames, and "Assumes the worst" ... I was just "The big sister" Sharing some happiness with my brother... and I must say... It felt pretty good... And it is going to be the icing on my cake for this weekend... It is going to turn me into the person I want to be along with showing the love to my brother that I always wanted him to feel, out of all my 'rants'...lol...
    For some reason, I felt the need to share this with you all.... In hopes that someone will see, that we all have our battles to fight, we all have our bridges to cross, but being in the family of "RIP" I am truly learning to Love myself, and still save room for the A's in my life, and excepting on a hole new level... So thank you all for sharing your story's... You are all helping me become the "ME" i need to be and the "ME" that I can live with...

Love and Hugs...
Missing Out