The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
``Letting Go'' To ``let go'' does not mean to stop caring.It means I can't do it for someone else. To ``let go'' is not to cut myself off.It's the realization I can't control another. To ``let go'' is not to enable,but to allow learning from natural consequences. To ``let go'' is to admit powerlessness which means the outcome is not in my hands. To ``let go'' is not to try to change or blame another.It's to make the most of myself. To ``let go'' is not to care for, but to care about. To ``let go'' is not to fix, but to be supportive. To ``let go'' is not to judge,but to allow another to be a human being. To ``let go'' is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,but to allow others to affect their own destinies. To ``let go'' is not to be protective.It's to permit another to face reality. To ``let go'' is not to deny, but to accept. To ``let go'' is not to nag, scold, or argue,but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them. To ``let go'' is not to criticize and regulate anybody,but to try to become what I dream I can be. To ``let go'' is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it. To ``let go'' is to not regret the past,but to grow and live for the future. To ``let go'' is to fear less and LOVE MYSELF MORE
-- Edited by soconfused at 23:57, 2009-01-03
-- Edited by soconfused at 00:02, 2009-01-04
-- Edited by soconfused at 00:04, 2009-01-04
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People may not remember what you did or what you said but they will remember how you made them feel...
I found this article about detachment and thought this could hit home for some. I needed it. I find it still hard to let go of him. I am fighting my own insecurities and demons. I keep thinking I am almost 40- never been married, 2 kids and may be this is the best I'm gonna get? Stupid I know, but this is where I am tonight.
Hope all is well.
-- Edited by soconfused at 00:03, 2009-01-04
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People may not remember what you did or what you said but they will remember how you made them feel...
To ``let go'' is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,but to allow others to affect their own destinies
Thank you for your share. I need to hang on to those words right now. I have struggled so hard with detachment and have just started to let go of my dear partner. For me making a gratitude list helps, that way I can see how much I have rather than what I havent.
I really liked that "Letting Go", it's a good reminder. I constantly have to remind myself to let go of thoughts of what is going on in my exAH new life with his AGF, especailly when my kids are there visiting. This weekend I'm obsessing over what treatment centre in what city the AGF has checked into. It's none of my bussiness and I should just be happy she made it to one at all.
Your posting got me thinking of a Dan Millman book I read this past year and I thought I would post some little quotes that I think go along with the letting go.
" It's only possible to live happily ever after on a moment-to-moment basis." ~ Margaret Bonnano
" Our lives are shaped not as much by our experience, as by our expectations." ~ George Bernard Shaw
" You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water." ~ Rabindranath Tagore
" Some think it's holding on that makes us strong; sometimes it's letting go." ~ Sylvia Robinson
Hi Agatha, Truly Letting Go can be difficult and as long as we set our intention on it, eventually a time will come when it's second nature. Couldn't come soon enough for me..Lol It's lovely to be here and from what I've been reading on this forum it gives me strength and courage to change my attitude. Meddling, obsessing, being overly responsible, hyper vigilant...If I put the focus on myself and do some serious inventory work it will be possible to find something I'm doing right. Thankyou for your words of wisdom people. snowqueen xx
Mahalo Soconfused for that oldie and goodie!! Memorizing it and daily practice of it results in miraculous changes. There is another that can be added to the list; To let go is to practice the belief that HP is real and will accept any weight I cannot carry on my own. Letting go for me led me to faith and then trust.
I first found the above at coping.org. It's fantastic and puts so many things into perspective for me. I found it on the last page of the detachment worksheet. Two of the meetings I attend have used it for a lengthy study.
http://coping.org/control/detach.htm
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Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
