The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi all Christmas eve was the worse but we made it throught. A cam over to open presant and he was drinking and beeing a butt after 20 mimutes he left but came back around 6.pm to get his gifts and i made him leave I just could not handle seeing him. he did not like me telling him that i could handle the abuse.
but today I just feel like crying and I do not like feeling like this and I do not understand why?
I'm glad you made it through the holidays, and understand your desire to cry today.
All of us at some point feel like crying when we face yet another time when we wish our A was not an A. In my life with my AH there have been countless times when I felt like crying because my A was so nasty to me and I remember when he was not, or because my A is so sick and I can remember when he was healthy, or because I felt lonely and I can remember feeling togetherness, or when I mourned what I used to have, but now do not.
Sometimes you just need to feel the sadness, instead of stuffing it down and hoping it will go away. Allow yourself the feelings, but stay close to your program in Al-Anon so that they don't take over. No matter how bad you are feeling today, remember that you will find happiness again.
Holidays were hell for me with the A. Now I have had 2 without him guess what they aren't so great without him either. I have such grief about the way I allowed him to treat me. I imagine I will be greiving for some time. I am all for you having boundaries. Good for you. There are only a few more days and they will be over and I will be so grateful I made it through another year!
