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I'm looking to my online friends for support. My AH has about 8 bottles of beer (he bought it himself) in him already and it's only 10:30 a.m. I've made one comment and it just blew up in my face. We have to go to my Grandma's house to celebrate Christmas in a couple of hours and I know what kind of shape he will be in. I am trying so hard not to get in his face and just yell at him, but I have a 6 year old that will hear everything and I won't do that. I am so frustrated. Why? Why? Why? Thanks for allowing me to vent!
I'm sorry that you are dealing with this today of all days. I used to get so upset when I thought my AH was not honoring us on special occasions. I took it very personally. I've come to understand that he (and I ) have no more control over the disease on special occasions then we do every other day of the year.
So how to deal with it? I'm wondering if you can keep the focus on you and your child? Remember to stay safe, perhaps you should drive to Grandma's? Once there, his behavior is his own responsibility and yours is yours. I like what you said about not spoiling things for your child.
I know that we would all prefer not to have to deal with this today, even more reason today to remember that we should give it to God.
I hope your day improves. Know that i'm sending thoughts of serenity your way.
Don't' let him drive you and your son , your life is worth more than that . and remember YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS BEHAVIOR nor is it up to u to explain it . Let him make as big an ass out of him self as he needs too with no help from you . Enjoy the day grandma and family play with your son and if hubby gets snotty and dosent want to go to dinner * this happens * just put on your coats and go by yourselves and lwhen they ask why he isn't with you simply say I am not sure u can ask him next time u see him . trust me it stops the questions and you can enjoy the rest of the visit . Merry Xmas enjoy !!!!!!!
I totally agree with abbyal, do not let it destroy you, try as you can to enjoy your family and your child. I understand how hard it can be to walk away, sometimes it is the only choice we have. You can not reason with someone in active addiction. When he gets sober it his up to him to make amends for his actions not you.
Prayers to you on this Holiday, remember friend where there is life there is hope. Please take care of you.
This disease makes holidays so hard. Try to keep the focus on you today. It really helps. Remember that he is a very sick person physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Try not to take anything he says or does personally. His behavior is not about you, its about him and how sick he is. Enjoy your little one and the time with your family. Do what you can to keep yourself safe.
I'm wishing you serenity, peace and safety.
Love in recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
Every holiday I had was like that with the exA. One thing I did was to stop gong anywhere with him. I do these days refuse to drive with anyone who is impaired in any way. Sometimes doing that will cause a lot of problems. Of course we get angry. The issue is to channel that anger into taking care of yourself. They don't seem to be able to hear the anger when they are out of it.
