Today was a good day. My daughter and I had fun. We went shopping with unexpected xmas money, went out to eat, got home and played ping pong, played little petshops, talked, just had fun together all day. She is so much fun to hang out with.

Bf called in the afternoon, tells me he got off work early, is at a friends house, and he'll be home in a little while. I did not expect him to keep his word and therefore didn't freak out when he got home at 9 pm. I am not really in the xmas spirit this year, but it would have been nice for us to spend xmas eve together. It did not happen but I spent the day with the one I love the most, my child.

I reminded myself again today that he doesn't really think about me, and that he is still fruitcake even without the nuts (sounds silly but it worked for me today). I also reminded myself that he's gonna do what he's gonna do. Yes I am dissapointed that things are the way they are, but at least it is not like last xmas. Last xmas I was at his parents house on christmas day for dinner, he was supposed to come by there shortly after I did, he never showed up. He ended up drunk somewhere.

This year he is sober, even though he seems to chose his friend and the friends family over our little family, where he spends most of his free time (weekends, days he gets off work early). Anyway, I did not ask questions today, did not make any smart remarks about why he came home late.

Wether he thinks the reason why I didn't say anything about it is that I'm okay with it, that I don't care, or whatever, doesn't matter anyway. What does matter is my daugther and I had a great day and had he called me when he got off work he could have had dinner at the restaurant with us at my expense. He never asked what was for dinner when he got home either. His loss.

Wishing everyone happy holidays filled with serenity.