The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
All the best to all the Alanoners who celebrate this season, or don't celebrate this season, who are snowed in or out, who have an A or sober A or ex A or several A's to deal with. Thanks tlc and glad for your esh.
It is MY 35th wedding anniversary tonight. He left 3 1/2 years ago. He has been married for 30 years. Said I don't love you, never did, and I want a divorce. And I say to myself but I still love you and I yell at him. He said he will come today to see our grown sons at my house and leave tomorrow. There, he (silently says) see I don't love you because I am leaving. There is no Alanon meeting tonight but an AA meeting. If I can get out of my driveway (lots of snow) I will try to go. Because the program of recovery really helps me. Four years ago in an Alanon meeting, I said out loud only an A can F-up Christmas. How Christmasy to say that. I was so angry and sad. Four years later I still have anger and sadness. I have more acceptance and hope and better relationship with my higher power. Two of my sons are here. My oldest is on his way with the grandbaby and out of the military (bless those who are still in the armed forces). I am grateful.
Mele Kalikimaka Nancy from across the Pacific where we have no snow yet. I whine when the temperature gets into the high to mid sixties and put on something warmer. Bless you and all others who shoulder the lower temps for me.
I wish you detatchment and acceptance and the miracle of peace of soul and spirit along with the freedom from pain no matter the cause. I pray that you receive that gift of freedom that was given to me after I got here and the courage to turn around choose a path and not look over my shoulder.
My ex-addict wife lives 3 miles up the road. This year she got a Christmas car with sincere wishes that she and her husband and family will receive all the blessings that HP bestows on those He/She loves. She is in that part of my story about how it use to be like. She has no place of prominence in the present journey other than she is in the group of people who I have come to love unconditionally.
(((((hugs))))) to you and your family and thank you for the gift of your love and support since we've met.
Personally I am no longer willing to listen to an active A. The ex A who I was with for 7 years regularly told everyone around us how much he hated me, how inept I was, how I was the cause of all his problems, what a burden I was, yah yah yah. Yet he is the one who is calling for the last year. I have confronted him, why are you calling when you had nothing good to say about me to all your friends,family whoever. He demurred. I now say nothing to him. He calls. I don't answer.
We have to remember they are sick. They are very very ill. Do they have anything good to say about anyone at all. I doubt it. The A who I was with was in love with people one minute, their worst enemy the next. I would wait to hear the click of the change. He never could hold onto anyone for long.
I am sorry you take it all so personally I know I did. I know also I counted the year and years I put up with him. I now can count the year I have not had him in my life and as hard as that is (the mess he created and I allowed!). the better I am for it. There will be a time when he can no longer affect you. Detach and detach and detach some more.
