The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AS (possibly bipolar and drug addicted) racked up several court cases in several weeks. He has been incarcerated three times and hospitalized three times in the past 9 weeks. He went to court yesterday and was ordered to get a doctor today, get on meds, not drink or drug, and report to probation daily. When I got home from work I discovered him on the couch and messed up. He had come in through a window. I told him the court was closing at two and I would drive him to probation. He would not get up, said it didn't matter, and I found a cut above his wrist. I freaked and called 911 for him to be taken to the hospital where he is now being evaluated. I was so afraid he was going to kill himself. He heard me calling his PO and went crazy and left the house. The police finally found him and he went voluntarily. I went up to the hospital to fill the doctor in and he threated my life. I wasn't calling the PO to rat on him. I was calling to say I was taking him to the hospital, that he was suicidal. My DH who has put up with this stepson's craziness for a long time is so angry at him. He says I am making excuses for his criminal behavior with the bipolar addiction excuses and gets very angry when I cry over my son. I AM going to Al-Anon but I an having such a hard time with what has been going on. I don't know what to do anymore. My heart is broken.
wow trina, you have had quite the experience! That sounds incredibly scary. My ex-AH (also bi-polar) got so bad he began to hurt me, physically so really, this stuff is nothing to mess with.
If he does have MI (mental illness) he needs to be evaluated and treated by medical professionals. He may have a disease or a set of diseases- mental illness, alcoholism, etc. These are chemical, physical illnesses. These are not personality problems, they maybe serious personality disorders! He cannot be blamed for this behavior but he does need to get help and it sounds like he is getting it. My heart broke, too- its so incredibly sad and creates such a deep feeling of complete powerlessness.
This is the best thing for him. To be under professional medical care. In the end, he is in the best place right now. I know how scary it is but he is going to be OK there and its a time for you to catch your breath, try and get some sleep/rest, eat well and get some help for YOU.
Keep going to your meetings. Do you have a sponsor? Do you have a call list? Get on the phone and reach out. If you feel despondent pick up the phone and call another al-anoner- say: "Hi, this is Trina, do you have a few minutes for an al-anon call?" and launch right in if they say yes. Take baths, make or go out and get your most favorite food, stay close to fun, loving people, exercise, get some lovely flowers for yourself. Go to a meeting every single day and listen. You may even want to consider getting a therapist or shrink for you and you alone- read the literature, keep coming back here. Hugs, J.
I don't know eithe Trinia but don't give up. There are others in Alanon who have your story. Keep going to meetings and read the literature and get help for yourself. Have you talked to your higher power about any of this? It should help.
I am so glad you came here to tell what happen with you AS.
You did the right thing for you AS, he does not understand that right now. I have thinking about you after your last post telling us that he was to go back to court on Thursday, you were in my thoughts and prayers that day.
I understand about dealing with all the anger, from the AS and your DH and there you are in the middle.
I hope your son gets the help he needs from the doctors, maybe they can help him, in the mean time take care of yourself the best you can.
