The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Tonight I went to my first face to face meeting. It was not an Alanon Meeting. It was a Celebrate Recovery Meeting and then a Codependency small group. I told the group I believed my primary addiction to be to my addict and my secondary to be to alcohol- as a coping mechanism to deal with my codependency. I know you cannot define my addiction for me, but I would like the opinion of you guys on my definition. I wasn't sure which small group to go to chemical dependency or codependency. But, because my day to day obsession is the addict and my alcohol use only comes in binges, I went to the codependency group and was embraced. Thanks for the encouragement to attend. I plan to keep going back. They are working the biblical approach to the 12 steps of Codependency workbook. I plan on purchasing my tomorrow- have to wait for that paycheck. :)
No matter what we call ourselves I think we are all codependent underneath. That is we are immature missing those things that we should have gotten in childhood. I don't know if I had responded to you before about love addiction/love avoidant. I obsess about my AHsober making him more important than me. He avoids me with his addictions (any addiction will do) I am learning to keep the focus on me and to make myself happy. He left the marriage. Relationship addiction is hard to kick. I go to meetings, read everything, call my sponsor, and try to set really good boundaries with my AHsober. Whether we divorce or not, it will not solve our co-addicted relathionship.
It sounds like you were honest and open and you know your definition better than any one else.
We have a Celebrate Recovery program here in our county, I haven't been able to get my nerve up to go. Can you share some of your impression of this setting, did you feel like you confidence would be honored?
I want to go to a meeting, and I have driven by the church several times, but I can't seem to go in.
CoDe, I feel so much pride in you!! Nice work! It is SO HARD to get through those doors! In many ways, that is the hardest part and YOU DID IT!
It is such an important moment because its the very very first babystep to honoring ourselves, respecting ourselves and loving ourselves. Its the first baby step to putting the focus on us and not someone else. Your definitions are totally your own and they are the best ones for you- ONLY YOU can make definitions of yourself! And those definitions can and do change and evolve.
WOW, I wish I could take you to lunch!!!!!! Hugs, J.
This is great news! I am so glad you are choosing recovery!
My sponsor calls herself a "double winner" and she always says that we were codependent LONG before we chose to "medicate" it. So... your understanding sounds just like hers! She's been in recovery for 18 years and attends 4-5 meetings a week, in both programs. "Meeting Makers Make it," she always says. She is the most peaceful, grounded person I know.
Congratulations for getting through the doors!!! Love, gladlee
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
I don't think it matters which group you are in the steps are all the same for either and the principles and general idea are the same. I'd just pick whichever one I was most comfortable with.
I attend CR and I love it! We do use the steps, but with a biblical principle that goes along with it. Personally I find them more encouraging than regular meetings.
You have time (one day at a) and the meetings mostly are open meetings therefore you can check them all out including open AA and NA meetings. I would suggest that you do check them all out. Sit all the way in and down and listen listen listen. You got the time. After a period of time you can make up your mind which is most helpful to how you want to work a program. This is what I did therefore it's my ESH.
Good for you! I find those 12 steps work nicely in all areas of my life. I am blessed as my sponsor is black belt Alanon and AA. We don't have Alanon in our little town, so I attend AA regularly for my alcoholism, but I also practice the 12 steps for my recovery from codependency. My sponsor was the first one in recovery to suggest I start looking at my codependency issues when I was out of rehab maybe 2 months (I was also a binge drinker too).
I consider myself truly blessed with the people in recovery that my higher power has put in my life.
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
