The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Am getting ready to take the 5th step and was just looking for some ESH from other members.....It seems like every step brings about more changes and clearer senses in me and I guess I am just wondering what to expect next...... thanks for letting me share......
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
I hope your not doing this alone - we tend to beat ourselves up alot u need someone to share this with step 4 is when u discover who u really are , step 5 is when u share it with another human being . Steps 4-5 are not about how bad u are it's who u are and what needs to be changed to make your life better . I was told long time ago there is no point in telling anyone what they are about to experience doing this step cause they just won't understand , and if the person u have chosen to speak to about it has already gone thru this process there is no need to talk about it they already know.
I am grateful that I was taught to kill all expectations early in program and then shown why. Trying to have expectations about what would come after I attempted to do something I had rarely if never done before was worse than a gamble. I have done 6 4th steps and 6 5th steps and with the experience each one became more valueable to me. The 5th is about (like Abby mention) self knowledge. There are things I have done that need to change (amends) and things I need to keep because they are positive and helpful to myself and others.
The 5th step starts "Addmitted God, myself and another human being..." I chose the God of my understanding and another person in Al-Anon whom I called my sponsor each and every time. My sponsors knew and know a good 4th step when they here it. They knew what was there, what wasn't and what was bs (yes I had fillers). They guided me gently and my HP loved and forgave me unconditionally. Admitting to myself was accepting to myself that what I found was real, that it existed and that it had or continue to happen and I was uncomfortable living that way anymore. I also admitted to myself that there were good things about the character of JerryF that needed to come forward, be dusted off and practice in a fearless and open manner. Some of the good stuff needed adjustment...first I had to admit them to myself and others. 5 is kinda like coming out of the closet on myself and letting everyone see me for who I found out I really was and wanted to change into. By the way the sponsor is safe cause the chances are that if I had not chosen someone in program I might not be working with a fair and impartial listener. There were judgmental others out there who had resentments and fears and I would not have been up to that just then...later maybe but not then.
"The exact nature of my wrongs" is important and if I have done a "Searching, Fearless, and Moral" inventory I am close to exact. I will learn more over time because I never expected that the first 5th step would be the last. Continued working of the steps results in spiritual, mental, motional and sometimes physical growth.
Do a good 4th with help and then do your 5th with help also. Like Abby mentioned and I can add to; If you're doing it alone you're doing it with a guide that hasn't been over the trail yet. Bound to get lost.
