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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> rejection
Post Info TOPIC: rejection
hopegrace


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Posts: 5
Date:
rejection
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Hallo all

I havent visited the forum for almost two years. I previously used to attend alanon meetings regularly and i suddenly stoped when i felt better and able to cope with life. Around the same time i broke up with my recovering alcoholic. Just recently he became very interested in me again and wanted us to settle down but i refused at first. However last week i decided i wanted him back and i called him with this exciting news. I was very shocked when he said to me that he had to think about it. honestly i felt crushed and started obsessing about his response after he has thought about our relationship. It just dawned on me how sick i have been all along and how much i need the program continually to keep me in check at all times. I am back now to step one where iam admitting my powerlessness over my RA decision and my life has been unmanageble coz i have been unable to detach from wanting to control and influence him to make a decision to my favour coz i feel i want him back.i need encouragement coz i have a baby and am alone so it is difficult to attend meetings regularly.

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rtexas


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1371
Date:
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((((((HopeGrace)))))))

Welcome back... took a little vacation myself... *smile*

I have to leave here for the moment but was moved by your post.  I have been in a similar situation... not with my Ex-Wife, but another person.

I was hit right between the eyes with the automated email I got from Hazeldon this morning... read it on my blackberry before I even got up.

I will leave it with you....

Take care of you!



Today's thought from Hazelden is:The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life, which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.

--Henry David Thoreau


Consider the young man who was doing great in his high school studies, then suddenly started to fall behind. One day, a teacher pulled the young man aside and asked him what happened. The student told him that he had asked his father for a car, and the father told him that if he earned the money, he could have one.

The student, being industrious and hard working, went out, got a job, saved the money, and bought the car. But then the car needed insurance, gas, and maintenance, so the student kept the job to keep up the car.

The job took up more and more of his time, until finally he began to fall behind in his studies.


"Why don't you just get rid of the car?" asked the teacher.


"Get rid of the car?" came the reply. "How would I get to my job?"


How often we feel that if we just get that new car, that new boyfriend or girlfriend, that promotion, or the condo in the good neighborhood, we will find happiness and contentment -- only to discover that the thing just brings with it more pain, more costs, and more bother than it's worth.

The new sports car runs only half the time, the new partner needs more care than your dog, the promotion eats up your weekends, and the new condo won't allow pets.


Things don't bring true happiness. Instead, they often sap your strength and leave you emptier than you were before. Think about the true cost of a thing before you pursue it in time, lifestyle changes, energy, maintenance and money. Can you really afford the amount of life that the thing will take from you in return for the happiness it brings? Are you willing to pay the price?


God, help me be aware of the true cost of the things in my life.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie



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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Jean4444


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1917
Date:
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I came back to the program after leaving for many years...it is like riding a bike. It all comes back REAL QUICK and its really good that you got some under your belt before- it will make it alot easier this time 'round. Its there, lying under ground just like a buried seed waiting for some sunshine and warmth! Welcome back and hugs, J.

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Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 13696
Date:
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Aloha hopegrace!!

I hope you hang around for a while.  The family will  hold you up and love
you will your getting your feet back under you.  Reject was hard to accept
for me also and the program taught me to not take things so personal.

Keep coming back.

(((((hugs)))))smile

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hopegrace


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 5
Date:
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Thanks rtexas

Iam so glad that i came back, i feel much better and focused. It is amazing what happens when you express your fears, they stop dominating your thoughts and you are able to relax and be abit more rational. Iam again so grateful for your encouragement.



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hopegrace


Member

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Posts: 5
Date:
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Hi jean4444

Thanks so much for your encouragement you are right that it will all come back even though it is buried deep within. I realised that somehow unconciously i have been practicing the program. This gave me the courage to come back hoping for the better. I feel much better and more in tune with myself and my higher power.

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hopegrace


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 5
Date:
Permalink  

 hi tlcate

Thanks so much for your encouragement. It is amazing what happens when you share your feelings with other trusted friends. Iam so glad that i came back otherwise i would have gone mad. I feel much better now and i look forward to working the steps and the program and this time iam going to take myself seriously. I am valuable and important and iam worth every effort. Thank God i was able to let go and let God sooner than later, it feels like a big load had been lifted off my shoulders.

Stay blessed.

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hopegrace


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 5
Date:
Permalink  

Thanks jerry f

Iam so glad for your encouragement i am pleased to come back. It just felt so hard to get over rejection from someone i thought loved me. I am now feeling much beter and ready to let go and let God. It is unbelievable when you stop everything and just focus on what is important and for me sanity is more important. Stay blessed

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