The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
(Another oldie.... *smile*... and yes, I'm still learning!)
Was reading another post elsewhere and got to thinking about what recovery means to me. What the purpose of my recovery is. Basically for me, it is to get my own life back. To feel good about me, about my family, how we live, how we interact, and so on. That's what the steps teach me... healthy behavior. Teaches me to examine myself first and foremost. Do I have unreasonable expectations of either myself or others? Am I being considerate of how others feel? Do I stand up for my own feelings? Am I willing to compromise for harmony or am I too set in my ways believing my way is the only right way? I often find myself thinking "if our roles were reversed, how would I feel then?" Do I treat others as I would want them to treat me? In looking back over my life I can see how I didn't always do that. I did try to control things an awful lot. I never took the time to think to myself, would I like it if someone were acting that way towards me? I sometimes didn't respect other's right to live their own life their way. That's one of our slogans "Live and Let Live". I don't have to agree with someone's decisions in order to get along with them. Lord knows I'd rather my son not be in the military, that's a big disagreement he and I have, BUT I have respect for him knowing that he feels he is doing what is right and best for himself. Heck, I even bought myself a "Military Police Mom" t-shirt. hahahaha I love him. That's the bottom line. I won't always agree with all he does, but it's his life, it makes him happy, makes him feel he is doing right, and isn't that what matters? I'm sure my own mother wishes I weren't married to an alcoholic, but she accepts it and is supportive of us and loves us. I learn a lot from her. Unconditional love... even when they're breaking your heart...
I'm learning... slowly but surely... i'm learning.
Luv, Kis
__________________
Let your light shine in the darkness. "I can't just bring my mind to meetings...I must also bring my heart."
Aloha Kis...right on share!! Keep growing. I've also had those awarenesses on my own recovery journey and just before I read yours I had another one. I came onto this beautiful planet thru the love of my higher power. I know today that what I was being given was a gift and I also know that rather than being grateful for it and using it for my own good and the good of others I viewed it as incomplete, "not as good as I would want to have it", and then I went about trying to change it and running for the position of King on a daily basis.
I am grateful that my HP also directed me thru the doors of recovery and brought me back to how things are supposed to be.
