The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Lets see, doing another loan mod. Go see my main house, it is a total mess, most cosmetic. They lived there almost two years with a deal of $150 off the rent to do upkeep and repair. Not even a lightbulb was changed when it blew out. Furnace filter was horrible. I find out the mortgage company is planning to take pictures!! nothing I gave them to do is done, no molding up, no sliders fixed nothing
So I worked six days, morn till night on the yard, painting inside, son and his friend did lotsa stuff. Then I told the Husband this is way worse than I thought. He said we could come over on Sunday. I walk over and his wife comes at me cussing and awful. I was shocked.
It did not go well. He had not told her he told me I could come over. no matter she has been harrassing me ever since. and will not pay the rent. She is ignorant to the contract where it states clearly, "security deposit." they were not to smoke in the house, they did, now the whole thing has to be cleaned and painted. It is way over the deposit. they still owe dec rent.
Then my other tenants did not ask me, but paid their rent five days late. ON the first my bills come out. I was out $1400+
That was Monday morn. then I go to my AH's court date. Only place he had to sit was next to me. he did a double take. did not say a word. twenty minutes late, his host woman to his being a parasite off her, comes stumbling in, is asked who are you and why are you late, by the judge that is.
She says oh uh I am here to be with my HUSBAND. omg. I did not react then. But crimany all I need is people gossiping about my AH's wife being drunk in court....as I am his legal wife.
On top of all this my adoptive dad is very sick and dieing. He does not feel well enough to talk to anyone. he is whom I always talked to about everything
So here I am back home, with tenants in both houses who have paid zero on their rents. just me, them being two adults each house. nice of me to give two households a home huh? me disabled, alone,fixed income.....all my babies to feed and care for.
My financial self is a huge mess. Dad would have put money into our joint account to cover it but......as I said he is NOT well. that is killing me knowing his is feeling so awful.
So cannot fix my broken washer Friday. I have so many cloths to wash as I do have an animal sanctuary, I get muddy work cloths and have piggy and dog and cat blankies to wash.
no cloths left, no towels. lol geez
I know everything will be ok. We all go thru times that we get hit from every side.
Sticking to one day at a time.
What makes me go to Ah's court dates? I did not know. Then today I was reading, and saw a neat scripture that IN MY belief, owning it totally that when I feed someone, cloth someone, help someone, even help a person in prison. I am doing it also as if I was doing it for the perfect man who died for our sins.
I did not feel inside for my Ah sitting there. But I cared. I don't know if my AH is in that body. If it is, when he is in prison/jail he will come out. For better for worse. No I don't want to live with him. However he is the boy I met and loved all my life, my sons bio father. I need to know, that I supported him in every way I could in his life. NO matter if it means anything to him or not.
This is a lot of stuff. Yet I feel happy about being in bed right now with my fluffy football little dog on his back with his feet all outspread, Tavish Basset and Bonnie chow/border collie and 3 cats all warm and comfy on my feather bed.Makes me feel better that if AH ever wakes up for even a second he knows his friend, debilyn is still there.
I get the be friends first big time. Always have.
Anyway I am now getting ready to rent pasture. Praying to make enough from that and the other rental to not have to rent my main house again.
Might move back up there. Keep it super simple.
Its like how we define insanity. Almost every time I rent, it is gut wrenching and expensive. Yes I am tired. weiry,never will trust, not ever anyone again.Will not ever give anyone a deal to move in.
so as always it is in Hp's hands. I will take the tenants to small claims once they move out. Hp will let me know where I will be living.
Thinking about leasing it to a very good group who help people who need to leave an abusive home with their pets....
The tenants will give me their new address as I took fifty off the rent to pay the satellite that is in their name all this time, they pay the power...I have been watching lots of pay per view. You can bet they will want me to pay it. And I will, and will get their address.....they would always take it off the rent before.
Hp keeps me going. I have NO idea how to take care of this financial mess.none. All I can do is take one day at a time. Right now I have food and feed, and electricity.....
time to watch the big lebowsky again and Uncle buck.
hugs,debilyn wondering where her great Pyrenees will fit on the bed? and how long I will have heat....
I am always amazed at the courage you display in face of all the setbacks and situations you face, debilyn!! I don't know answers??? Being in the rental market in today's economy is dicey at best.....I have done some of that in the past and you are always wondering if the rent will be on time, etc. You are always wondering if the facilities are being cared for. It never ends. Then there are the tax logistics, the expense involved with being in that business.....so hang in there. As for your going to court, well, that is what your heart told you to do. You hve a huge heart and much compassion, so I am not surprised you went in show of support.
I hope your 2009 will get off to a positive start somehow. You are in my thought and prayers.
Personally I have let go long long ago about what people say about me. I have no doubt the A lambasted me to everyone. I doubt anyone in your exhusband's life presumes you are "there" when he is living openly with someone else. I can understand needing to know. I also think there are other ways to find out particularly when you are overwhelmed.
Tenant stuff is very tricky. Generally a landlord in theory needs to give 24 hours notice in writing unless it is an emergency repair. Personally I have to monitor very closely my resentment level. I have to push hard to do other things for myself so I do not feel deprived.
I can certainly understand wanting to be "there" for the alcoholic. Nevertheless I do feel there are lots of other ways to be "there" rather than in person with the opportunity to be embarassed or shamed. Personally I keep a very very wide berth of anyone I deem as alcoholic. Their behavior is never consistent.
Joy thankyou for posting to me. Believe me I know Oregon landlord tenant law.
I always give them almost a week!
Emergency or not< they are not allowing me in> which is ok>
things are working out as they always do>
thank you for your words> i take no credit< it is hp> scuze my keyboard that is sick>
i am seriously considering moving back over there but livining in the part of the house that has the view and maybe renting the main room to a student> i am good with teens and young adults>
I know you will get through this one too. BTW are you going to f2f meetings. Sure sounds like you could use one.
Love in recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I'm sorry all this stuff is happening at the same time. I hope it all gets sorted out ASAP and you get a good vacation for worrying anput it all. I'm thinking of you, you're in my prayers.
