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Well it has been awhile since I posted, doesnt mean that things got better, but for awhile since my husbands last binge, it was better, he wasnt drinking and then BAM he started again. Not in a binge but he did drink more than I think he should be ( well actually dont think he should be drinkking anything . lol) but he had a friend over for a fight and they drank combined 18 beers. and then on his birthday he drank again, and got kind of testy, then again when we went to lunch one day, and then again the other day at lunch again. And then on to today, ( so I see a pattern developing with him drinking more and more.) ( here we go again) Today he went out to go watch football with a guy 12 years younger than him. And he is drinking and driving. I did something that I have worked so hard on not doing for awhile. I got obbssessed with it again. I called all the local restraunts and bars in our area and told them not to really serve my husband. I cannot believe i did this. I worked so hard not to get wrapped up into his drinking again and go on with my life. and then today, all that work down the drain. He " promised " to be home by 6 to bbq for dinner, I told my daughter we will prob go get Subway, he is not gonna be home. I am not going to go pick him up if he needs a ride. Tired of it. I cannot go through this again. I am having enough problems at home, I found out my 18 year old daughter is pregnant, no job, no school, no money. She is prob moving to Miami with her boyfriend and that bummed me out even more. Well it is anyones guess what is going to happen tonight. We had a HUGE fight before hand because he thought I didnt want him to go ( well really i didnt ) and asked him to leave the 40.00 he had at home so he wont blow his gas money for work ( again I should have let it go, if he uses it he has no money to go to work then. He thought I was trying to come up with excuses, so he left mad and really pissed off. So that prob made him drink even more. I can only pray that he doesnt drink to much and that he will be okay. but i cannot worry about that now. I am just so upset that I called all those places. Shame on me.
Don't beat yourself up. We alanoners have slips also. Ya know how many slips I had even after comming into the program?? I have no idea but too many to count.
I learned something about myself with each and every one. Please be gentle with yourself. There is a reason you slipped and something you learned from it.
Best part about slopping is someone sending me a reminder to get working on myself again. Don't be too hard on yourself, what is done is done. Let it go and take really good care of yourself tonight.
I promise not to compare mine to yours. When I found out that I was doing the best I could with what I had that gave me grace. It will never be perfect and if one bartender heard your call and had compassion and didn't serve your alcoholic it might have saved a life ...only God judges. Another thing is that I never knew how things were going or how they would turn out or what she thought or didn't think or how she felt or didn't feel...hell I had enough trouble finding out what I was thinking and feeling. The simple thing I was trying to get across to her and to me at the same time was that I wanted the insanity to STOP DAMMIT!! yet until I got into program I didn't know that is what I wanted to say or how I needed to say it. Coming to the program and sitting, listening; learning and practicing took time and effort (mine and others) that is how it works. She drank because that is what alcoholics do and cannot stop doing until they also get sick and tired of being sick and tired and become honest and willing to STOP DAMMIT!! for themselves. Then they start to work the program just like any member of Al-Anon or AA for that matter.
Keep coming back....put down the mallet and stop beating on yourself. If he arrives with attitude and heard that you had called around you can apologize for not minding your own business and not doing what is necessary to stop the insanity for yourself.
Keep coming back cause this program does really work when you work it including the mistakes....(((((hugs)))))
Easy to slip back into the rut isn't it? It's hard for me to imagine that I actually did that too LOL. Wow to be so obsessed with someone else and what they are doing. I didn't have the strength to remain with my A because I knew that even if he got sober it could always come back to this. I don't like me when I'm with him. I'm not even the same me anymore, I don't think we would get along now... It's hard not to protect someone you love from their own stupid selves, especially when you rely on them for your livelihood and the well being of your children! All I can say is... this too shall pass...
Loretta, you slipped but you know what? I can see from your post that you could see yourself slipping which is way different than being that "deer in the headlights" kind of slipping, u know what I mean? And you had a plan b for dinner all lined up, too, knowing he would be no where around to BBQ! So I would call that a half-slip (LOL)?! Dontcha think?! I have been there, too, its gonna happen once in awhile, no?! Its OK. Just get back in the saddle (u already are back in it by writing this post, right?!) missy. Hugs, J.
Hon alcoholics don' tneed an excuse to drink , could be the first fri of the week ,they just make excuses to drink usually it's you . This is a disease and it's progressive gets worse never better . If your not already attending al anon f2f I would strongly suggest u do so ,it could be the best thing u have ever done for your family . Get the focus back on you where it belongs - he will do what he has to do . drink and remember your not powerful enough to make him drink - nothing u say will make him drink if you were powerful enough to make someone drink you would be powerful enough to make them stop.
One of the thing's I've learned about my disease is that it doesn't matter what the occasion is, I slip back too. If I'm not working my program, I am more prone to a slip than when I'm doing everything I can to work my program. It's okay that you slipped up. I garentee that the bartender has gotten those calls before. The restaurants and bars have policies for these situations. I promise you that you're not the first. As for your daughter, I'm sorry you heard the news of being a grandmother this way. It's a tough thing to hear, but you're doing great. I'm with abby, get to a meeting, and get back on that step work.
Well last night he started texting me really mean things and i just texted him back and said goodnight i was already in bed and well feel it could have gone alot worse. Today though, he wont talk to me, of course, and is trying to make me feel bad like I did something wrong. I am used to this with him, WOW I am really getting to know this diese. lol. I do feel I could have handled it better yesterday, but also feel looking back at it, I could have dont alot worse. I am getting better and just know I need to leave him one day.
