The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi Will he has came over the last two days. We talked a long time yesterday and it was good to undrestand some of the things that he is going throught and he even was asking question on how I was feeling and wanting to know of I want a separation or not. He told me that he has filed for joint coudity of our daughter that is 15 and he even knows that her wants nothing to do with him.
But today he came over and do his clothes and then when and checked my mail and when i told him that i did not like him check my mail things turned ugly. I ask him to leave he did and came back this evening and wanted to work on the separation papers. But when he asked me to not to use his last name I said no that not until our daughter was 18 that I will use his last name. He got ugly again and i asked him to leave again.
I am trying to set limits but I just do not get why is it that he thinks that things are to go his way all the time or he gets ugly.
I am ok just do not get why this dea is so ugly. I am try ing to do the right thing as he dose not have a job or money and can not keep a job. And he is telling me that his couslers at both place are not going to let him work for a long time, i know that it is not my job to help but I will not let him stave but will not give him money. will leave him to my HP and let Him take care of him and myself for the night. Thank you all
If you are not attending face to face meetings in your area I will encourage you to do that. Being around real people who share your experiences will help alot. You don't have to do this alone and you don't have to be alone ever again.
I'm sorry things turn ugly when things do nto go his way ... that is one of the natures of this disease. I am very glad you are finding the ideas and solutions that YOU want even if it does make him annoyed. Perhaps changing your password if it is email or asking for your mailbox to be rekeyed if it is the post will stop the nosiness. I'm glad you keep coming back and hope you are able to find a face to face meeting you are able to get to, too. I wish you peace and serenity
You know I used to feel like that about the Ex A. I felt I owed it to him to help him. After a long long decline and his never respecting anything I did I came to see that he never did starve without me. He certainly went through hard times but he was a seasoned manipulator and had many people to "touch on". I always believed I was the only one who cared about him but he made a point of getting under the skin of plenty of people. Letting him have responsibility to take care of himself was hard going.
