I thought Step One was the easiest to get.  Just admit we are powerless over alcohol and the behaviors it creates.  But to me it means that we are powerless over controlling anyone's behavior.  I cannot control my AH's behavior or that of my children or anyone else that is in my life.  I am just beginning to realize how much I wanted to control everyone and everything!  What I can control is my response to it.  It's like a light bulb finally coming on in my head.  As my name says I goes I'm a slow learner or just to stubborn to finally admit it.  I feel like a load has been lifted off of me.  But then maybe another has been added because now I have to concentrate on me and my behaviors and own up to them.  They are mine - whether they're good or not.  My feelings are my own and are caused by me and not someone else!!!  For too many years I've played the blame game and did not look at myself.  What a humbling realization that maybe I could have found out years ago.  But it does feel good to take care of myself.  It also feels good to detach from other's problems.  I tried that with my daughter and her boyfriend this weekend - did not get in the middle of their spat - and they figured it out themselves.  Amazing - I didn't have to do anything but put the responsibility of someone's feelings where they belong.  I am not responsible for them.  It doesn't mean that I don't love them - but maybe I wasn't doing them any favors by sticking my nose in their business.  I am slowly trying this in all aspects of my life.  It's a bigger step than I realized.