The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
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Hi Why can he not leave us alone? He can over last night to say happy thankgiving and today ask our nineteen year son to call and see of he can come over to put up christmas stuff. Last night our daughter and my self just looked at him. Today I told him no. Our children are19,18, 15 they know where he is of they want to see him and he does not have to come to the house to see them. When he came over last night he acted like there was nothing going on and that things are ok between us. I know that this is a diease and I belive he maybe have wet brain, as he can not remerber things and is having troble with he nervus in his neck and hands. I feel bad of him and still love him but our daughter and my self can not take the way he treats us. I know that I can not show how I feel to him as it would only make things bad for all us. His action this time was making it hard on are daughter at school and at home and now she wants nothing to do with him and he is telling all that will listen to him that it is my doing. Having it hard today as it is the day we always put in christmas. Thanks for listioning
Hello Smiley , alcoholics never quite let go they are like boomerangs keep commin back , thats why program is so important for us because of the kids regardless of what ages he will be in your life for the rest of your life - one way or another , your kids are old enough now to decide if they want to see him hopefully they will find the courage to say NO when necessary . encourage them to speak up and let it happen the way it's supposed to . As for xmas well your alone now so start a new tradition anything that makes u and kids comfy , it's time . suround yourself with people who love you and want the best for you and kids - enjoy your al- anon friends , my first yr in prog I had a xmas pot luck lunch invited people from all groups in my area whether I knew them or not made new friends had alot of laughs , I made up invitations delievered them to groups before the meeting and let chips fall where they may , had 25 people for the first one . good luck enjoy ---- Louise
Oh when they are active, they can be a pain in the :sensored:! You did well telling him no. Like you, I need to find my new traditions without my beloved Tim. Yes, the circumstance is different, but I am trying to remember how I did this when I was alone. Like abbyal said start some new traditions. I hope your children are attending their own meetings. You have a strong program in place and it will help you (and me) through this time. Remember to be gentle on yourself. Holidays are hard enough without us adding to the extra stress of trying to be perfect (I have to remember that one). ODAT. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Who do they think they are? My family organizes the holidays. He pops in smiling, telling jokes, Mr. Innocent, talking to my mom, yadayada. He's sober. He left us. I know it makes my grown children uncomfortable. He is oblivious of his impact. Doesn't try to make us comfortable. I just try to prepare myself for crap. Have a plan of escape. Today I am going with friends to another dinner. Stay busy and try to find the parts where I can call the shots.
I have really worked on accepting others as they are rather than trying to change them. That said I spend very little time around those who I consider dysfunctional.
If I am around them my expectations are very low. I know for 7years I got caught wkith the ex A. I kept wanting him to change. The wanting him to change was as bad as his actions. He did change, he got much much much worse.
