The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My friend just told me AH was in the paper. I said,dead?!
Oh boy he is so sick. How has he stayed alive this long????
Here is the report:
Crash, arrests Police responded to a two-vehicle collision at 4:07 p.m. Thursday at Queen Avenue and Oak Street S.E., and arrested both drivers.
According to police, my estranged AH, 56, of Albany was driving a 1995 Chrysler when he collided with a Dodge Spirit driven by *, 28, of Albany.
AH was taken to the Linn County Jail on charges of driving under the influence of intoxicants, driving while suspended and reckless driving.
other guy * was also taken to the Linn County Jail because he had an unrelated, outstanding warrant for sexual abuse.
A passenger in Volks car, * 22, of Albany, was taken to the Albany hospital to be treated for injuries.
They let him out of jail after "2" hours, he has court Dec.3,08.
That means he wrecked the gals care he parasites off. Now she has no vehicle to get her to her breast cancer dr. app.s.
She is clean and sober, but very sick plus an excellent enabler for his disease.
Me? I feel sad for the little boy who was horribly abused by a demon father, drafted to Viet Nam, then after some years, got very into program AA, came back to me and we married.Was doing very well, however fell victum to medical relapse.
I cannot do a thing about this, it is all in my HP's hands, everything will be ok no matter what.
Sure I feel, well like I always do, I miss the man I married, and as far as I am concerned, that man died during the brain surgery.It caused brain damage. He has fought to get back, but he is too brain damaged.
Also today I get a call from the mortgage company. They screwed up yet again.
I called and asked this Mortgage professional in August who I thought I could trust, asking if there are new programs to help our mortagages. I was struggling but we were just ok. He said yes so I sent all they needed.He told me there would be no problems and I did not have to worry.
Called to get status end of . They tell me they did not get my work out package. I called the guy who said he would get it to the right person.This was the beg. of August. Now I get a call about how I have not made payments, I was told not to as it would be included in the loan mod. So I roofed etc.
NOW they are starting the foreclosure thing. They passed my loan package around. They hire new people to do them, the ones who cannot do it, get layed off. So my package has been bounced around for months! Thereby making it look like I was not making my payments. I was told NOT to.
I have to give it to hp, which I do. I do believe everything will be ok no matter what. This obstacle should never happened. They don't care it was their mistake.
So now this gal who seems like she is on the ball is setting up a new loan mod. They tell me now I have to get my own insurance as they are no longer adding the kind they have to my loan anymore.
I found some that is very good for not much at all a year $478. Dad is my only obtion. He is very weak and sick. He is concerned and if he can will help. He cannot even get to his mail box. He is an adoptive dad to me after I lost all my family and close friends to death.
They will continue the process to take my house if I don't come up with the insurance. They are also sending someone to come take pics of the house. One for the insurance and one for the loan mod.
If I don't get insurance it is all a waste.
I can only do a day at a time. Sure I am weeping off and on then reminding myself to have faith, one step at a time. Everything being ok could be very painful. I would lose my animal family. That which keeps me going.
I was initially so upset and actually sick from every opening on my body! Becuz I was doing fine but a lower payment would have made it even easier to pay my hospital bills etc.
I feel like I swallowed cement.
One bit at a time. when I feel the weight of it, I remind me, it is in hp's hands, let it go. do what you can and let it go.
So here I am,guess we will see how all this plays out. It is hard to explain my feelings. It feels like the skin on my face is sorta stretching downwards.
Tough stuff. Arent't they supposed to be holding off on foreclosures because of the government bail out. I know how it is to eke out money. There are options fro you though I'm sure. Try some reputable agencies like consumer credit counselling among others. Maybe you can go bankrupt and that is one way to stop foreclosure. Who knows. I am certainly not one to advise. I do know there are options. I have huge bills msyelf. The IRS needs a huge paymjent from me in February and I don't have it yet. Nevertheless I do know I am far more in control than I ever was before.
You know full well Debilyn that I go out of my way not to know where the A is who I was invovled with. I would highly suggest something similar for you. Stop tracking him, stop following his progress. Stop grieving about that he does not get sober. I used to grieve and grieve what the A did to others. Now I detach. I have no idea where he is and I make a huge point of not knowing. If his family take him in that's on them. I think the same applies for your A's acquaintance. She has a program, resources and is making a choice. I made a choice when I was with the A. We have to give up any notion of control and that does mean detaching. If hearing about him makes you sad, stop hearing about him.
