The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As I read and reread that step I think back to the past. During my marriage to AH I was beaten and mentally abused for years. My life defined the definition of insanity-yet I kept doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. After divorce I thought No Alcoholic=No problem for me and went about my life as if it never happened. Of course it did, and my mind and my heart carried all of it with me for years into every relationship I had. I tried to ignore it, after all there was no alcoholic in my life why would I need help....i just kept muttering along making the same mistakes over and over again. The queen of codependance is what I had become during my marriage. A woman who didn't know how to smile unless I thought it would make someone else happy. Today-just today-I am doing ok........I spent a week struggling to get out of bed and brush my hair, not wanting to go on, after all if I couldn't keep ABF happy I must be worthless right? Soooo much to learn.....progress not prefection. I'm still heart broken and still struggling daily but am determined to find serenity. I stayed away from the boards for awhile because I didn't want to hurt anyone here-figured if I can't help myself i shouldnt' be here trying to help others. I apologize if I let anyone down. It took me almost 12 yrs to get to step 2 now I'm on the way......:)
__________________
Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
Wow what a great post. I've certainly had my struggles with reality. I do so much better every day. Al anon does buld over time. I find the more I use the tools the better I feel. I keep it pretty simple. I go for curent goals only.
I've alwyas known I had my own problems. Nevertheless when I was with an A I let go of my problems to go tend to his. That no longer happens. I look forwardto getting to know you.
