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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> REALLY need some help-online sponser needed BADLY-PLEASE HELP
Post Info TOPIC: REALLY need some help-online sponser needed BADLY-PLEASE HELP
shellyj123


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 654
Date:
REALLY need some help-online sponser needed BADLY-PLEASE HELP
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   Well for those who have followed my life saga on here-you know that ABF dumped me-the hoot of it was he did it at the Dairy Queen.  That was Friday the 14th and I've been in a serious state of depression since then.    I do feel better and am sleeping better now also.  Ex ABF and I saw one another the Sunday after the break up long enough for me to have a complete meltdown asking why?  He advised that he just didn't think he could be with me anymore.  I broke down and threw him out.  Monday I called my Dr for some help and went and saw him and he put me on a rx for Lorazepam.  I am sleeping now better.  Ex ABF and I have communicated briefly in email and today before work I took EVERYTHING he had ever given me or picts or any memories that would fit in my jeep and dropped them at his door.
   I have been trying to find a F2F meeting in this area and there is only one and that is one that he goes to and I can not see him at this point. Even if I could see him it is not a night I can find a sitter so that one is out.  I am barely keeping it all together right now.  There are no other meetings local and i am mortified-I need help and I need a sponser in my life to help me. 
   It took me 12 yrs, one ruined relationship after another, and a complete meltdown to get me to step one,I've messed up lots of my life and don't want my co dependancy to spill over onto my son and his life. I'm ready now to keep on stepping, but I can't do it alone.........any one who can help with sponsorship would be greatly appreciated.

__________________

Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!

Only God can turn a mess into a message.

Prayin' on it, Stayin' on it, I will survive it.

If nothing ever changes, nothing ever changes.
Mobirdie


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 418
Date:
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Shelly,
I am not real fond of online sponsorship; I believe it should be a face to face relationship whenever possible. However, sometimes we just need someone to point us in the right direction to get started on the next right step.

My suggestions to you would be:
1. Get a copy of One Day at a time - Alanon daily reader. You can find them inexpensively at amazon.com usually for around $5.00.
2. Get a copy of How Al-Anon Works and read the first 164 pages. You can possibly find this also at Amazon.
3. In the daily reader index read everything you can on detachment. Start yourself a journal and after each reading on detachment write how it applies to you, what your thoughts are after reading it. This will be helpful to you a year from now when you do it again.

This will keep you busy for the meantime.

You can't fix him but you can figure out how to fix yourself. By doing the above you will accomplish more than one thing. You will get your mind on another level which does not include him, you will learn about the disease and you will learn to detach.

You will be ok, this is all something you just have to walk through to reach your serenity.
Higs


__________________

Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
maresie


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 4578
Date:
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go to meetings here they have them twice a day. You can also go to the chatroom here anytime.

I understand about the over reactions. I tend to over react all the time. I catch myself these days so I do not get completely exhausted. Get all the program literature you can, read it, absorb it, read it again.  A great source for tools is www.coping. org.  The other great source is the archive here, read people's shares, look at how they progress.

Maresie.

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maresie
shellyj123


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 654
Date:
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       Thanks so much for the input, I already have both books and have been living in them lately.  The advice is greatly appreciated.

__________________

Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!

Only God can turn a mess into a message.

Prayin' on it, Stayin' on it, I will survive it.

If nothing ever changes, nothing ever changes.
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> REALLY need some help-online sponser needed BADLY-PLEASE HELP