The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
An amazing thing happened to me today but also made me feel sad - but then again not alone. I brought my two elderly aunts and my mother to a baby shower today. It was a two hour drive so many things were discussed. They got into the discussion of how they grew up with an alcoholic father (my grandfather) and discussed the hardships, beatings, beratings they had to endure. The nights they slept in the barn so their father wouldn't beat them, and having to watch their mother being hit and chased through cornfields. Fearing for their lives when their father was drunk, taking refuge at neighbors houses and stopping grandpa from carrying out threats of suicide, watching their siblings being beat. And how they felt hatred for him. One aunt said that she just felt different and abnormal from the rest of the world and had a hard time relating to people.
What a terrible disease alcoholism is and how it ruins lives. These women are hardworking, lovely people scarred by their father's drinking. They talked about how they tried to practice forgiveness but are still working on it to this day - and everyday.
I could totally relate to them because my father was also an alcoholic (my mother followed the pattern by marrying an alcoholic). And my husband is also an alcoholic. What a terrible cycle to keep repeating.
I wrote a post this morning where I was just feeling so down and didn't know where to turn. But after hearing this has given me the resolve to take steps forward to help myself and my daughters. I am grateful for these wonderful ladies and their openness to share their feelings with me. I am also grateful for the people at this website who care about others.
I think it's great when we get insight from others and yes hearing others talk about drinking in there families and lives does help. We realize that we are not alone. It is sad that it is a family disease. I have alcholics/addicts in my family and now my fiance is one as well he was when we first met.
I'm no fortune teller and I can still see what might happen for them and what might come of it if you share with them what you have learned here or from Al-Anon meetings. Sounds like they are qualified also and a suggestion to attend may help free them from struggling with the pain for a longer time than you have. Just a suggestion. Who knows what HP might do thru you.
Thank you for sharing that. My Mom has recently shared some things aout my Grandpa, he was not an A but being a truck driver gone all week and suddenly 10 kids running around on your time off made him need some anger management classes. It's hard in a way to hear those stories because the times were so different, we've made some vast improvements. Let's hope we can keep the cycle going in the right direction.
