The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When I drove my A to detox in April, I told him it was the last time. I've done it over and over and over again.I made it clear it was the last time.I can't help him any more.About an hour ago, I got an email he sent this afternoon.He's been drinking since Wednesday, and got "discharged" from the recovery program he's been in for five months.He was supposed to move out to a halfway house this weekend.
I know I can't help him.I know it's not my fault/responsibility/failure/fill-in-the-blank.But I'm feeling sad and angry right now.The kids have gotten used to seeing him every week again. They had so much fun last week and can't wait for the next visit. He was supposed to work this weekend, so they knew we were not visiting tomorrow.But I hate to see their disappointment when they can't see daddy.But I cannot and will not allow visits when he's drinking.They didn't see him from right after Easter until Father's Day earlier this year.
Got the kids tucked in and it's time to get back to work. I'm so thankful you're all here when I need you.Got a feeling I'll be here a bit more frequently in the next few weeks. Again. And my family doesn't understand why I have anything at all to do with him; some days I'm not sure why I do either, but I'm not in the mood for a lecture tonight.
I'm sorry that you and your children are going through this. It is hard to see the disappointment and suffering of our children.
I have held in there a very long time in the hope that my son could have a mother and a father in his life, only to realize that my desire to create this is truly out of my control. All I can control is what kind of a mother I can be for my son. Sometimes I do well, sometimes I don't. I'm trying to get better.
I think it sounds like you're doing great - healthy boundaries to protect you and your children.
No, means no. You are right where you are suppose to be. Sometimes no can be the greatest gift of all. I lament that my AHSober and we don't have that togetherness of family. He will have to make amends with his children. All the best.
Nice work lmw, you are so totally worth it. Easier said than done, I know. But I feel proud of you for holding your ground, missy. We cannot help them, its true. ALL we can do is visualize wrapping them up and handing them over to HP for the best care imaginable. Hugs, J.
I went over and over and over the up and down chaos with the A I was with. Letting go was immensely difficult. We had a whole life together, we had belongings, we had memores, we had dreams, we had a life. Letting go of that did not happen overnight.
I know that de-taching helped me immensely. So did working this program. Getting to work the steps helped tremendously. Putting all the focus on me helped.
