I had a good trip to Washington.

When I came home I told my daughter that she could choose a nice group home that I found for her or boot camp.  The group home is voluntary - they have lots of structure and rules but it's not a lock down type facility.  They don't do punishment or counseling.  They do rational emotive behavior therapy and cognitive behavior therapy and point out to her the flaws in her thinking and how that leads to her behaviors.  She almost got kicked out Wednesday night because of her attitude.  No computer, no phone use except to me and her siblings and only when we call, no disrespect.  There are lots of rules and she is not used to that.  She had to switch schools.  She is still pretty mad with me but calming down a bit and I'm hoping this is what it takes.  She's a good girl at heart - I just know it - buried deep in there somewhere.

So I gave up the 2nd job and now I'm home with the other two ALL the time.  I have gotten a LOT of cleaning done, I'm playing games and watching movies and doing puzzles and reading stories.  I feel like such a better mom.  I'm cracking down on behaviors with the other two now so hopefully when she comes back they will be in line.  The middle child was starting to mimic her.  I had to put a stop to it.  This will be the first weekend with her gone.  I am looking forward to the peace.  I feel guilty for enjoying the peace and lack of chaos since she's been gone. 

Just wanted to update all of those who responded.  I followed through, I don't think she can believe it.  I am right there with you Gailey making punishments in anger and then not being able to follow through.  Off to my peaceful home!!!