The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It had been ages since I spoke with my ex AAAAAA boyfriend.Then out of the blue he calls me over the weekend. He left a drunken message on my cell phone at 4am Saturday morning. Sounded bombed out of his mind with a woman in the background that sounded just as bombed as him.It was a really nasty message basically screaming at me.The next morning, he calls again (blocking his number).I should have hung up when I heard his voice but I didnt immediately. Then he started yelling at me telling me that all he is going through now in his life is my fault.Then 2 seconds later, hes telling me how wonderful his new girlfriend is (as if he thought Id care). How she buys him so many nice things and has let him use her car.How wonderful her children are (they sounded youngI could hear them in the background) Then he starts ripping me apart again. My response was, OK, you are truly nuts.Go to your doctor and get your meds adjusted or if you arent on meds, you should get them because you are psychotic. Then I proceeded to tell him NEVER to contact me again because if he did I was going to call the police and have him brought up on harassment charges. CLICK.
He has truly lost it.Today I am kicking myself in the butt for sticking around as long as I did.
I feel sorry for this new woman (or girl) he is dating.I hope she opens her eyes and realizes what this guy is about before its too late.She must be nuts also for allowing him to be around her kids.
I am 1000% over any emotional feelings toward this idiot.I just wish hed get thrown in jail (where hell be safe) and deal with the consequences of his actions.
Oh and by the way, things with my current boyfriend are absolutely FABULOUS.What a difference it is when you arent dating an alcoholic/drug addict.Needless he isnt too happy that my ex has been harassing me and has offered to step in.I told him that it wasnt necessary because the next call he makes to me will be followed by a call I make to the police department.
__________________
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean that they don't love you the best way they know how
Yeah, you shouldn't have taken his call the next day, but we are human. The great thing is that in letting him rant and rave, you didn't respond the way he thought you would. You kept your cool, and you let him know it will never happen again.
I'm so glad to hear you are doing well. I haven't posted in a while, but this post of yours hit me. I must say I am kind of jealous that at least you know what your A is doing now. Mine left 2 months ago and no one has seen or heard from him. He was "sober" for 2 months or so when he left. I have an instinct feeling that he moved back to Alabama, and that wherever he is staying, he is drinking. So I guess that means I know enough. But your post about your new bf gives me hope that there are good guys out there. I have started dating again just to be social and get out and have some laughs. My question is, even without dating another Addict/A did you go through any insecurities that you had about yourself from dating an A? I find that I have to re-learn how to trust myself, and not second guess myself so much. Time I guess. Just wondered if it was hard for you at first. Glad you are now doing so well :)
mslouise wrote:My question is, even without dating another Addict/A did you go through any insecurities that you had about yourself from dating an A?
At first, yes. I did have insecurities. That was hard for me because I was always so confident about myself and my actions. He brought me down and it took a while to actually see it.
I find that I have to re-learn how to trust myself, and not second guess myself so much.
Second guessing yourself if normal. Once you get burned most people do second guess themselves.
Just wondered if it was hard for you at first.
Hard isnt the word. There were days that I'd just mope around the house and do nothing. I missed him SOOOO much in the beginning, and actually even several months after we split up. It did get easier.
They always say that good things happen when you least expect them. I have truly been blessed by my new boyfriend. Never give up hope. There are amazing people out there. You just have to be patient.
__________________
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean that they don't love you the best way they know how
Lots of us have been through this. I certainly had a difficult time setting limits with the ex. I stopped talking eventually because I had nothing left to say. I'd said it so many times.
