Wow! Is how I have to start this post. Last night my brother-in-law was in a bad car accident, and he had been drinking. He rolled the truck 4 times and was thrown to the passenger side of the vehicle. When the police got there they didn't know if he was the driver or if somebody else had been there. They had just moved to another state in September so we were at a loss as to what exactly had happened. My sister in law was lost and couldn't find the hospital. We called the hospital and got very little information. But he ended up being released, he had cuts and bruises but nothing serious. Also no other vehicles were involved, thank goodness!! My AH was very upset by this whole incident, when we found out he had been drinking, which intensified his reactions to everything. He was freaking out, having me look for airlines to get him down there last night. NO flights were available anyway, which I knew they wouldn't be but I did it to appease him. He wanted all of us to pack a bag so we would be ready if we had to drive. I just played it calm and cool because in my mind, if my BIL was drunk he was probably alright since they usually are too relaxed to even realize what is happening, and I was right. But I refused to get caught up in the hype and excitement. I just couldn't allow myself to go there. He made the choice he made and this was a consequence of that. I know that may sound cold but that is how I felt. I knew I couldn't keep my AH calm but I was going to stay calm. And everything turned out just the way I figured it would. Now we don't know if the police are going to come back and arrest him or what but again it will be a consequence of his choice. I know his parents will do what they can to help him get out of trouble, and by the way it was their truck that he totalled. My AH made a grandeous announcement that he was quitting drinking and when he talked to his brother he let him know that THEY were quitting. I am just sitting back watching because I don't and won't believe it until I see it. Words are words and actions are what I believe in. Now, common sense would say that if you get in this situation you should try to do what you can to avid it again, right? Of course. Well this would be his 2nd DUI in just over 1 year so you tell me if there is ANY common sense going on. No there isn't. But I knew that before they moved. I warned my SIL that he wouldn't stop drinking, because the theory was they would move and make a fresh start, after filing bankruptcy, and have no bills and therefore no stress anymore. I had told her that his drinking had nothing to do with stress that he had a disesase and that it would only change if he wanted it to. So now I am the bad guy because I was right. I don't really care because I can't help anybody who doesn't want it. I can only help and change myself. I love them all but they are living in denial and I can't do anything to help them. Unless they want me to. But even then I am limited in what I can do. I would most certainly suggest AA to start with and maybe counseling too. If anybody asks me for help I will do what I can, and probably come here and post and ask for input. But I can't do much more than that. I have suggested Alanon to my family and told them about this online site and the meetings offered here but I can't make them come here. I guess time will tell how things will end up. My BIL has 3 young girls who were very distraught last night because the police called the house looking for their mother to meet them at the hospital and they were told that their Dad was being handcuffed and taken to the hospital. Why they were given all of that information I don't know and I don't know if that is actually true. But this is yet another consequence of his actions. It is just so sad. My MIL keeps saying I just don't understand he is so intelligent, why would he do this. My standard response if that he has a disease and the addiction outrules all of his common sense. Which it does. I feel really bad for her. But like I have said, I have suggested to her that she look into Alanon, but I think what may hold her back is that she would be admitting that her sons have real problems that they aren't able to handle on their own. She shoulders a lot of guilt, for whatever reason, and I try to tell her that it's not her fault, she didn't do this TO them. But she is having a hard time grasping that. Eventually she will figure out how she wants to deal with this, but I can't let her or anyone else bring me down. I feel like a "hard ass", but it's my salvation to handle things this way. I am protecting my serenity. Thanks for reading my post. Also thank you for your support!!

Yours in recovery,
wildthang86