bluej, writing letters and writing in a journal can be incredibly helpful. Not that you need to send the letters, in fact, I have found its usually best not to, but to sit down and write it all out like you are going to send it is a wonderful tool of letting go and letting god. I would burn those letters in my backyard or just on my windowsill often and let the smoke of them rise up to heaven where they belong. Sometimes it almost felt like an exorcism- letting out all the toxic expressions.

I have written to people who are dead, to those living. To people who have never existed but I had hoped they had- like the mother I always wanted instead of the one I ended up with (alcoholic). I used to think it was just some elaborate mistake, that my real mother would show up some day. Surely this wretched soul could not be my real mother! Now, I love my real mother and am glad that she is my mother. But it took YEARS and years of really hard work.

Write- its a great instinct you have to do so- HP whispering in your ear, my friend. Hugs, J.