The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After a minor setback yesterday, when I panicked a wee little tiny bit, I am feeling much better today. For one thing, this sinus infection is getting much better, I went to work today, and no longer feel all weepy and out of sorts. Thanks to everyone for their ESH, it helps more than you can ever know! It is a struggle for me to be in a "normal" relationship with a "normal" man.....never had it, or known one before.... Like Keith Urban says in one of his songs...."I felt safe on shaky ground"...... So, all this is new to me. I find myself not knowing how to live without chaos...can you imagine??? My "new guy friend" told me when we first started going out, and we were talking some about our old, past relationships (we're past that point now, I really DON'T want to hear about any old girlfriends!), that years ago he had fallen in love with some girl who lived on a nearby farm with her mom. He picked right up and moved in with her. Worked his fanny off on the farm every day. Thought he was in love with this girl. Then one day she didn't come home. He waited and waited for days. No one seemed to know where she was. Then her mother sat him down and told him she wasn't coming back.....she had gone back home to some other state, to her HUSBAND and 4 kids or something like that. He had no idea. I guess she just was taking a break from her family. So, there he was, played for a fool.
So........co-dependant that I am start thinking...."OK.....so, why hasn't he asked to move in with ME yet???? What did she have that I don't have???? " OMG! Stop Becky Stop! For one thing, I don't even WANT him to move in with me.....(we've only dated for two months) and for another, he was a lot younger when all that happened, and hopefully he has grown up (and hopefully I have.) And, I know he loves me a lot. He is always concerned about me, if I have enough of whatever, how I am feeling, if I'm getting enough rest....he calls me every chance he gets, if we even only talk for 4 or 5 minutes. Sends the sweetest text messages I've ever had.
I guess what I am trying to say, is that even though I may have those crazy voices in my head, doesn't mean I have to act on them. Last night when he left, I told him I missed him already, and got a little teary eyed, but I didn't let it turn into a full-blown sobbing session~! I don't have to make him crazy and myself crazier by bringing up crazy stuff. I can vent on here, and make all of you guys crazy! LOL Thank God for Alanon. I have received the blessing of this most special person in my life, and if not for Alanon, and the tools I have learned, I'm sure I would send this nice "normal guy" (is there such a creature??) running for the hills. I continue to be in awe of the healing power of HP, Alanon, and the gift of the wonderful friends and family I have. Thanks for always being here for me. And for the new comers, keep coming back. It works if you work it. Love in Recovery, Becky1
Isn't this a wonderful place. It's the only place I know where I can go and rant like a crazy person, and there are the greatest people that will listen, share with me and offer the "pearls of wisdom" they have learned. Sometimes it's just one sentence that brings me back down to earth, sometimes it's just one question they remind me I need to ask myself. It sound like you have it together, and I am so happy for you, and him. Come back when ever you need a hand dealing. I know I do. Did you read the post where someone told the story of the man who was hanging on a cliff and prayed to his HP to help him? First came a man to help him up and he said NO my HP will help, then a ship came to help, he said NO. My HP will help. Last a helecopter came, again he said NO. After he fell to his death he saw his HP and said why didn't you help? His HP said, I sent you a man, a ship and a helecopter, what do you want? I retell that story because when I read it, I stopped for a while. (Thank you to the original poster), I realized this place is the man, ship and helicopter my HP is sending to me. I need to use it, learn from it, and thank my HP for it. And I thank you all for being there for me and others.
This is a hard road to travel, but It is the road where I have met some of the most caring people in the world. Thanks for letting me tag along with you.
