The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
hey all its been a while since i wrote here but i remember at a better time in my life i used to always come here and it helped so much. you all really wernt lying when you said if you stop working the program your misery will be refunded. anyways so thats where im at now. not with an a anymore but with someone just like me. lots of past issues. we both know our relastionship is wrong but for some stupid reason im stuck here. i know i want to go but for some reason cant. i left an 8 year relationship before with someone i really felt i loved. how come i cant leave a 2 year one with someone i know i dont love??????????????? need some help here and help reworking the steps with this new relationship. i would also like some help on getting rid of my victim role.
-- Edited by notsonew1111 at 02:03, 2008-11-09
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stay in the now...dont look forward, dont look back....your life is what you make of it
I find it easier to go to a place that i know, because the unknown seems too scary to me. I know the ups and downs of a bad relationship, been there all my life. I know how to keep my defenses up. I know how to not let anyone get too close, cause they are going to hurt me anyway. I know how to not lean on anyone because they will let me fall if i do.
I KNOW, I have to work on letting go of what I KNOW.
If you worked the program before, maybe its time to dust off the books you have, and read them again. Maybe its time to start going to meetings.... face to face, or on line. Maybe its time to look back on the "better times" and see what has changed.
I wish you well in your journey. Most highways have dark tunnels you have to travel through to get to where you want to go. I guess the trick is, dont stop while your in the tunnel, keep moving forward no matter how hard it is.
One of the best ways to drop kick the victim role is to take a long hard look at acceptance. Why do you lack acceptance in your life right now? Really? Read about it in the literature. Think about it, pray on it. Look at yourself and your perspectives on acceptance. Why do you lack acceptance in your life when HP has placed you exactly where you are? Why to you throw a tantrum (playing the victim is an adult-seeming way of throwing a temper tantrum, in my book) in the face of HP instead of accepting his gift in the guise of something that is not what YOU want (but is what HE wants)? Hugs, J.
. i would also like some help on getting rid of my victim role.