The material presented
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its been a tough week. It feels that each day brings the inevitability of divorce closer. I want it but I don't. So now I've picked up food again-- my old friend to numb the pain and distract me from all that must be done. I really don't want to do this again. I lost 50 lbs in the past year by taking care of myself and putting down sugar and refined carbs. I am so afraid of going back there. I attend OA meetings but still can't put the food down today.
I don't want to reconcile with AH again. I just want to make it thru the holidays and then find the cleanest exit strategy for me and the kids that I can.
My Addict H has a band gig tonight which he basically banned me from attending-- then changed his mind. I didn't want to go anyway-- but I wanted it to be my idea to hurt him. sick, right? Now I just feel confused.
I just don't know which way to turn anymore. I feel isolated and kind of desperate. I am asking my HP for help but not seeming to get it.
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In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.- Daniel L. Reardon
Desparately confused is a signal for me to do something different which is often easier said than done. Food is easy to grab for me too. But a walk also changes my focus even if it is a short walk and even if it is inside my house. Sometimes take a few things up stairs and a few things downstairs to pick up a little..... there's always something to put away at our house.
I've had over a week of sick kids and I caught the virus too so I got off track on taking better care of me re eating and exercising. Trying to think more about how to get that back on track, focus on me rather than on the other things and other people around here that can easily get me off track.
Sometimes going to sleep earlier with a good al anon book helps me get a good nights sleep for a fresh start tomorrow. hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
Great advice here- take that intense burning energy and funnel it- AWAY from what u usually do- FOOD. I, too, have been struggling with some food related issues lately and it so deeply contributes to my overall feeling of YUCK that I simply cannot afford to go there again and as I age, it just gets worse. I cannot do dairy or wheat or sugar and when I do, I get more irritable, cranky, want and crave more of the same, cannot drink enough water (then dont drink enough water) and its just a really really vicious cycle.
JUST STOP.
STOP and take yourself by the hand to SOME OTHER ACTIVITY. Get going on making a list. Set a date of when to begin. Its ok to start over some other day, not today but you deserve to stop this, soon so take a pledge to do it. Set a date of when you will cold turkey this and dive into your new list of options: exercise, yoga, singing lesson, knitting or embroidery, soccer, reading fiction, cooking massive meals for others in their homes/businesses, get to meetings, get to meeting, get to meetings, get into service work, volunteer all over the place, you get the idea. I always take a walk, too, when I feel the struggle coming on. Or I go to bed and read a great book (I have a stack ready and waiting) and some of them are al-anon books, btw. Hugs, J.
For me in my life change part was to eat healthy. Food can be very comforting when we pick things that are good for us.
Air popped popcorn, put a bit of that powder butter stuff on if you must. I love real fruit pop cycles, there are these chewy fruit things that are super low calories. rice cakes come in flavors, I get the whole grain ones with grains in them.
I also eat no fat or low fat meals. I am a vegie, so to add some munchie good nutrition is ok. Also it is better to eat several small meals a day.
Reading for me is a great way to fill that need to get something in my pleasure center. I make soy youghurt ice cream like stuff. I add a thing of that boxed cheese cake mix.
Once you eat healthy the need for food for comfort is less. For me too is other interests. putting up fences, brushing my horse,dogs,
plant plants, make a garden, What fills a need for pleasure for you? I like to hunt in thrift store.
I know we don't feel good when we live with or are close to a using or sometimes non using A. It is then the taking care of me pops in. We have to get out the door, or move our feet and do it some to remember oh this does feel good. Get out of their pit hon!!!!
Oh and I always have a fruit salad drenched in strawberry daqueri juice waiting or some other good juice....
It has changed my life big time/ NO more eatin "boxes" of twinkies and or hostess cupcakes!! bad. I can actually have a cake and eat tiny pieces. NO not all day long, lol.
I invite you to not beat yourself up, do your best to fill that need you have in a healthy way, does not have to be just food.
I hope this helps. In order to keep good eating habits we must choose things that we will want to continue the rest of our lives.
hugs hon, be creative!! go to a movie and take some air popcorn do not go to the candy counter!lol hugs,debilyn
