The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Step by step, new thoughts take root and somehow, someway, things change slowly with fits and starts..... sort of like magic. I think it's those miracles Jerry keeps reminding us about. Exhausting work but worthy work too.
I am now aware of when I get myself spinning in thought and then actions. I have just enough al anon under my belt that first I went to sleep to calm myself once with fists clenched for 3 hours - man did my arms ache after that nap but I was calmer.
Last wkend I managed fitfully to just sit there and do nothing at the worse times over a 12 hour period until new thoughts presented themselves that were so much better for me and others around me. Plus because I did nothing, I did not start a storm in our household. Exhausting work but good results.
Now I find that the frequency of things are let loose and I am spinning more often. Maybe I am allowing myself to honestly know more what I want to do so all the blockades or Aisms are more obvious to me and get to me quicker.
This weekend I am going to try to use meditation more like I did long ago and I like the visual of flying a kite (in the Relax post below) especially as the snow starts to fall. hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
It is a good feeling when you can find the break lever on the crazy roller coaster. I use to say "count to 10", but I realize it just gave me 10 seconds to think about more bad things to say. My big escape has started to be long hot baths, with all the frills. Candles, dim lights and soft music. I am doing something good for me, and the calmness is contagious (spelling, sorry). Others in my life are seeing me seperate from the problems, take a "time out" and do something good for myself. It gives us ALL time to think. I know I am a different person when I come out of the bathroom, and many times, so are they.
(and its kinda hard to get back on the roller coaster when your all clean and relaxed)
