The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new to your forum... I figured I needed some help.. but meetings in my area are hours away.
I dont know who to talk to - or where to turn.
I cant seem to figure out when its safe to trust that my world willnot be upset by my alcholic husband. I am freaked... because I know my anger and need to control things creates a vicious cycle. I just dont know how to end it.. or how to know what to ask for so I just feel safe.
Keep looking for meetings. You never know. I live in a rural area and surprisingly there are meetings. Welcome to MIP! This is a good place to let it out and gain some insight. Read the Alanon literature. Many of us have been where you are.
I know the feeling. It took me about two years to get to a meeting. But you may start reading some Al-anon literature. It will help until you find a meeting. Good luck , China
Miracles in Progress has online meetings in our chat room twice a day. In the yellow square at top left of this page are the links to the schedule times and the chatroom itself.
Meetings are 8am and 8pm CST daily, (except Sunday-time different) and last hour and a half. The rest of the day is open chat and a good place to go to talk to people.
Also at the top of this board is a post of frequently asked questions which has lots of great information.
We have meetings online 8 central a.m. and 8 central p.m. through most of the week, weekend meetings are listed a bit earlier and a bit later.
If I can share one thing that has helped me the most is, the 3 C's...we didn't cause it, we can't cure it and we can't control this disease.
I'm sorry you are having a tough time at this point in your life, the Alanon program helps family and friends as we've all been affected in more than one way or another.
Our thinking becomes distorted by the time we get here we've often tried many other venues, self help books, church, isolation, avoidance by jumping into our job.
We often times find we have somewhere lost alog the waywho we really are and who we would like to become.
The Alanon program was designed to help us find our way out of all the anger. Learning what we will accept amd what we will no longer accept in our lifes.
Find a sponsor, someone who has something you would like to learn help them get you back on projects that address where you are and how you are feelinig right now.
I you are in any physical danger there are those too who have had to leave in a blinks moment to save their lives and that of their children.
The price of gas is dropping so you could consider car pooling with others who drive to the face to face meeting.
I applaud your courage to even show up here tonight and post, keep coming back, you are worth it.
I understand what you are saying, been there done it. I know I felt so alone, and so out of control of myself, my feelings, and had lost my ability to cope. I didn't know what to do, or how to do it. I came across the chat room. It saved my sanity. I truely understand others saying it important to go to a face to face meeting, but until you can, please, feel free to go to the open chat at the link above. It's a place to go where people are that understand what you are going through. There are people there most of the time, and they will listen to your problems and give you support. Dont get me wrong, they will not TELL you what to do because they dont know what is best for you, but they will share with you what they have learned. The meetings are very informative. The rules to the meetings are pretty straight forward, you mostly listen to others and see their growth. You dont have to "share", you just log in, and welcome those who want to share, and thank them after they are done. The open chat is where I go to get myself under control. The thing that i learned first was that I couldn't control my A, all I could control was me, and my actions. I spent years trying to control his problem, fix the fall out of his problem, and I almost became his warden in the prison I had tried to build for him, and myself. Believe it or not,,,,,,,,, I stopped. His drinking is HIS problem. I had to decide what my limits where, and get support as to how to set them, and how to stand by them. I will not tell you how my situation is working out because, like I said, it working out in a way that is best for me, not him. This place can help you find your limits.
Hi mskels - I've been where your at in my relationship with my AH. I hated to feel so confused, and Alanon really helped me to realize I wasn't crazy. And I felt it sometimes too! If you can't get to a local meeting, use this site to your advantage. Post on this board, and you will get a great amount of support. I attend the on-line meetings in the evenings when I can, and they are great. I found for the longest time that just reading others posts shed light on to my own situation. You can private message people too, and sometimes that is great comfort when you feel "a connection" with someone you meet on this site. Just remember, take it One Day at a Time........
There is no substitute for F2F mtgs but I see you did get the hours and the on-line mtgs are really great. And since mtgs are "hours away" I encourage you to come online. This Board is amazing too, u can search by topic to look specifically about a particular issue.
I recently discovered one of my fav pamphlets (that you can get free at F2F mtgs) is on-line, check it out (below) it has helped me loads! I have been using this forum for 3.5 yrears now and I have ventend, shared & opened up about everything under the sun, it is truly cathartic... I encourage you to post! And welcome to miracles in progress.
Please send other websites via PM
-- Edited by canadianguy at 15:21, 2008-11-06
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Another resource might be Alanon's "Lone Member" service - this used to be via letter by I imagine these days they use email where possible. Contact Alanon World Service at al-anon.alateen.org
Also, there are other online meetings or "email meetings" - you can check these out at ola-is.org (OnLineAlanon-Info Service).
welcome to MIP. I've been here a week and find most people to be really helpful and caring. Keep reading shares and coming back. I myself have not been to a face 2 face meeting yet. I've been going to online meetings for about a month now. They have been really helpful to me. But, I will hopefully be attending a f2f meeting soon.
