The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
I have been working step 4 asking myself questions and taking an inventory. It is not always easy to look at ourselves. I'm looking at both the good and not so good qualities about myself. Today I was talking on the phone with my mom and she said something that took me by surprise and didn't make me feel too good. So I jumped down her throat about it and she said "sometimes you can say really hurtful things." Yes she is right sometimes I can. I think it stems from being hurt so often by people. I don't blame people anymore not like I used to. There is no point in holding a grudge but sometimes it still hurts. I guess when someone I love makes me feel bad I'll snap back at them.
It's not an excuse just because they said or did something I didn't like. I've been unforgiving towards people. I've harbored resentments that have only made me angry. They say depression is "unresolved anger." Well I would say that's true and loneliness as well. I know all I can do is give my feelings over towards my HP. I'm still working the 4th step but I think I'm getting closer to the 5th.
thanks tlc. I'm going to keep working the steps. It is hard to look at myself honestly sometimes but I know it will make me stronger in the end. Plus, step 4 is also about taking an inventory of our good charcter as well not just the bad. They say it's about finding someone you admire and seeing what qualities you have that they do and what qualities you need to work on. I heard that before in a meeting and it has been helpful to me to think about it like that.
