And I need to send out a large THANK YOU to everyone. While I did not reply or post I did turn to MIP at times and read your words. They helped as always. Thank You all again.

The big updates on my life, my divorce is final. I lived with a family member taking a break from her husband for a year ... it was extremely helpful in keeping my resolve and strength going. She has since returned to her husband and home, and seems to be doing fine. Meanwhile I wished for and recieved a wonderful little house I could just barely afford to rent and have the luxury of internet access. I LOVE living alone, of course my monster beast of a dog is here with me, and he LOVES this too. The A in my life does still visit occasionally, break my house rules and is asked to leave ... sometimes he doesn't and we can spend a few hours catching up and enjoynig time as old friends do. My rules are getting more defined and unfortunately I have a sneaky feeling that eventually even these visits will need to end as I still see manipulative behavior. The perk in this is that I don't feel bad about it, this is my life and I want it to be a great one, no chaos, angerm drama, ugliness.

Health wise, my eyes have stayed pretty much the same. I am legally blind now, frustrating at times. I've been blessed with a few rare people who have told me that how I see literally the world makes me who I am and they like me so perhaps in some way it's not an all bad thing. I kind of like me so maybe they have a point. There are a few other body issues similar to MS symptoms that come along with this auto immune disorder in my case, so far I am handling them well.

I've been lightly working on getting the needed help for equipment and etc to return to school and have an idea for a sound business plan for my future. Someday when I have cleared up the financial mess that took over my life for a while I can get them into motion. In the meantime I keep thinking of how my experience of being a timid, left to her devices teen, living with an A husband, becoming visually impaired and having a disability could help me work with people trynig to find their own personal balance in life. there is a 4 year course I am interested in that could lead to counseling.

At present the most exciting things in my life are coming home to the big beast and feeling wonderful about it. I spent the last year sleeping, I must have needed it LOL although I think I scared a few friends and family members. A few weeks ago I started emailing a nice gentleman, I might actually go on a blind date. And I had a beautiful dream as I woke one day, a strong, pretty woman handed me 3 coins 2 were silver and small ... the other was heavier coppery and had a triangle cut fromt he center. It reminded me of AA and AlAnon. Looking for info on it, it is a symbol for AA but has also been used for warding evil and protection for many different religions. I could still feel them in my hand as I woek up, it seemed pretty special.

I know I have lost track of everyone's stories, I'll catch up someday. I have and will continue o think of you all every day.

OHHHH and after my sis in law recovered from the miscarriage (which was probably the last time I was really here) she has since given me my one and only to date Nephew. Who is the light of the whole family's life. Being the only grandchild on either side ... he won't be spoiled a bit will he? LOL And I have the pleasure of being the only aunt or uncle ... normally I share well but I like this only Aunt thing just FINE

Love to all

Jennifer

OH OH OH PS Just for the record I have every piece of silverware I left my old with ... it's been more than a year. Socks still disappear on a regular basis

-- Edited by Jennifer at 22:13, 2008-10-31