The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been struggling a lot lately with worry and fear. I've had anxiety that plagues me every single day. It gives me comfort knowing that even though I cannot control others and what they do or say I can control my reactions. I'm a people please and for a long time I really went along with everyone else out of fear and worry that I would be hurt or rejected. Most of the people hurt me anyway. Not physically but with there words and actions. That's why I realize how important it is to take care of me and put myself first. Not in a selfish way I still do what these people ask of me as long as it is reasonable. But I'm not going to bend and mold myself to be what they want me to be. All it did was make me miserable. I still have fear and worry. With the economy and other fears and worries. I do think of the future and the what ifs? Which, I know is something I need to work on because in the long run it does not help me. I worry I'll end up like people in my family either angry and mean, depressed and miserable, bitter, sick, not trying to do anything with my life but going through the motions day after day wishing for something better but never trying to make it happen. I know I am not these people. I have control over myself and my choices. Lately I've been feeling paralyzed by my fear and anxiety and sometimes I feel like I'm running out of time to get everything accomplished because the thought of staying stuck in a dead end job scares me. The thought of never being happy. The thought of my ABF repeating his behaviors over and over again drinking, ignoring me, going to prison because he did some stupid thing while drunk and high. I worry and fear about being all alone even though I have my HP and even if that's all I end up with that still would be a lot. Right now I'm just trying to take it one day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time. Thanks for listening. Happy Halloween! Have a great weekend!
Thank you for sharing. I have suffered from similar anxiety and panic at various points in my life. One thing that seems to be proven over and over to me is that the more I start to live my life the way I want to, the less panic I have. Reminds me that old saying practice makes perfect ... perhaps not perfection but practicing the steps and valuing each discovery of how I want my life picture to be surely changes the focus back to something calmer inside. I apprecaite the reminder
I can relate to the worry and fear factors, being one who suffers from frequent sudden panic attacks. The serenity prayer has been helping me during these times.
Thanks for your kind responses. I do find the serenity prayer helps me as well. To change what I can. Although I feel overwhelmed by making changes. But, I am going to start taking baby steps. I am determined to use the program and get better and be happy and live a fufilling life without fear and worry.
