The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello, it's me again. I feel like I'm posting a lot lately.
Long story short, I have been diagnosed with a few things all in one day. Turns out that I not only have Lymes, but I have been walking around with strep throat undiagnosed, and it has gone into my kidneys. I have had no symptoms other than absolute exhaustion. I also had an irregular EKG, and my heart may be enlarged. The DR thinks I've had Lymes much longer than I think...maybe even for over a year. Long story short, I just want my ex ABF to be here with me.
I sent him an email explaining what is going on. I know he is doing okay bc he acutally emailed me today to see how I am and to say that he has moved into his own apt and is staying away from his cousins and friends who live near me (he has moved about 20 min away). This was part of the "the" plan. His email was very brief, but sounded so sad. It was sad bc it was him--the him I love so much--the sober him and just MAYBE he IS getting healthier now. Maybe he will be a miracle story.
Anyway, I just feel so sad about everything that is going on between the two of us, and now my not being well. Again, I am only 34!!! I feel like I'm 90 with these details!!!
I just wish I could go to a meeting right now (can't stand the on line ones here--they are too slow and I don't get anything out of them). I love this message board, though. I hope i feel well enough to go to meeting tomorrow. I missed my last one last Tuesday and I really love it there.
Am sorry your not feeling well , but with a diagnosis now they can start to treat you and u will recover , be patient . You said in your last post u just wanted your b/f to step up and be there for you , there is aline in our literature that says * going to an alcoholic for emotional support is like going to a hardware store for a loaf of bread * that was upsetting for me at the time but have come to realize that the only person I can count on is me , I have to take care of myself , any support tht comes my way is a bonus . Hope u are strong enough to attend a meeting soon . u will find your support there . When i learned to start accepting and stop expecting my life got alot less stressful . keep the focus on your needs and recover mentally and physically.
Hope you feel better. Dang, it sucks when we need the A's the most that is when they are not there for us. HP is there to help us thru the rough spots.
I'm sorry for your health problems. I know what it's like to want support from your ABF. I have mine too who I want support from but then you realize they can't give you the support you need it can be very sad. But, you have your HP and I find my al-anon family is a huge support for me as well.
I know I spent a lot time yearning for the A to "be there". Leaning how to take care of me has been so key. Of course you are overwhelmed with the diagnosis. I hope you can do things now to put you on the road to recovery. There are support groups, is there anyone else you can reach out to in order to get physical and emotional support. If t here isn't or even if there is, lean hard on this group. We are here for you.
