The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am very new to this and have been reading some posts and not sure I can or will find help here. All I really know is that I have been living my life like this for so long that the depression meds and everything else I try dont even work anylonger. I have been here for so long that I have no self esteem, respect or anything for myself, I just really dont care. The only reason I still hang out or on to anything is I have a very deep and pasonate love for my children whom I have to support and be here for. I am not sure where to turn or how to get help for myself so I can be there and help them. Can anyone provide information or direction?? Need Help Bad. Thanks
Welcome to MIP and to Al-Anon. I am sure that you will find support here--just wait a little bit for folks to wake-up and log on.
I would strongly encourage you to find a face-to-face meeting in your hometown and get to one ASAP. Al-Anon may be listed in the white pages of your local telephone directory. Cities with local information services are listed on the Al-Anon web site. Many of those listed post meeting information on their web sites. For meeting information in Canada, the US, and Puerto Rico you can call 1-888-4AL-ANON (1-888-425-2666) Monday through Friday, 8:00am to 6:00pm ET.
The Al-Anon website is: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
You are not alone. We have all been there and although you do not know us, we already know you because we share the same experience. There is hope. We can be happy, joyous and free whether the A still drinks or not. We can rediscover our choices, our self-esteem, our lives. This Program saved me--body and soul.
The first and more important thing that I learned was the I didn't cause it, I couldn't control it and I couldn't cure it. That was so freeing for me!! I couldn't stop him from drinking and it wasn't my fault (even though he said that everything was).
Keep coming back and you will find love and support in this Program and on this site.
Yours in recovery,
SLS
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Do not be anxious about tomorrow; tomorrow will look after itself. The Bible, from Courage to Change, p.138
This site is a great start for you, and like others will tell you, you need to find a face to face meeting. I am relatively new to all this as well. For me, it all came to a head in June and then got worse over the summer. My A has been gone since August 20. Two months now--and we have had some contact, but nothing has changed on his side.
I can tell you, however, that things in my life have gotten MUCH better. Yes, it hurts that he is gone, and yes, I still crave him and the behavior that I had when he was here (I was/am addicted to him, like he is to alcohol). It's the hardest thing I've had to work at and I know I have a long road ahead.
The truth is, nothing could help me more than the face to face meetings and this message board and reading everything I could from Al-Anon about the disease and about what my role is in the disease.
I will also say that since the A has been gone, I am not having anxiety attacks or constant heart palpitations. I sleep better. I laugh more. I am not constantly wondering what I will come home to. I can make plans with my friends and family and actually enjoy myself when I am out with them. I can invite them to my house and not worry about the A being here and drinking or leaving to drink or come home drunk. I no longer sit around and wait for him to call or text. I no longer wonder if he's coming back when he says he is just "running out" to drop something off at a friend's house, or to go to the bakery. I no longer have to dread the weekend bc of the constant fights we had.
I think the best you can do is keep posting your thoughts here and get to a meeting. They are great and the people here are wonderful, too. I wish I had known about all this support when I was with the A. It would have helped me tremendously!
Welcome to the board. You didn't define what "this" is in your post and I have long given up just "assuming" because I usually am off center. Maybe you can give it a name? I related to your post as I went thru all of that without the meds and the problem was I was living with and trying to care for, control and cure an alcoholic wife. I got past the place of just "coping" and found the Al-Anon Family Groups and they led me to "hoping". I learned that "there was no difficulty that couldn't be bettered and no unhappiness to great to be lessened" (from the closing of our face to face meetings and the first promise from the program that came true for me). I went to the face to face meetings and "Kept coming back" as suggested and WHALLA!! my life became a miracle as promised.
Those suggestions already have been given to you. Don't let the depression keep you so mired down that you won't look up the hotline number for the Al-Anon Family Groups in your area (The program is planet wide) and finding where the meetings are and maybe someone you can talk to about "this" for you. You will find another listener and one who has also been in your shoes or worse. I didn't do the meds...I did the program. The program is free. Those who come to your aid know what you are going thru and will share with you what they went thru, what they found out and how it is for them now much like the sharing here.
So keep coming back, go find the hotline number, get to as many meetings as you can over the next 90 days, get as much literature as you can and read it all, talk to others, take the suggestions and let them save your life.
