The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I've only been going to Al Anon meetings for about 6 weeks now and my Abf has been sober for about 2 weeks....longest since we've been together. Life is great.....but now I find I'm even more scared!! Why???!!!! I keep waiting for that first drink to happen. Even though his drinking was constant and a part of our lives for so long....now it just feels like a bad dream. It's almost like when you have a nightmare and you're afraid to go back to sleep because you just know you'll dream it again. I forgot how much fun we can have together.....my stomach is sore from laughing all day. I guess it just feels so good to have him back that I'm scared the disease is going to take him away from me again....like he's only on loan or something. Do you guys ever feel this way? It feels so good but so sad at the same time?
Anyway, my real question is: I haven't been doing this long and I don't even have a sponser. Having said that, I have bought and read all the liturature (even the books) and spent a lot of time online researching AA and Al Anon and visiting different forums. This is the only one I post on. Yesterday at an Al Anon meeting there was a new girl there and she sat crying. She introduced herself during the newcomer's welcome and said she was from New York and she didn't have any family near. I'm from Canada so I have no family here either. She left a few minutes before the end of the meeting and and followed her out.....I couldn't help it....she looked like I had 6 weeks ago. Totally in despair and scared and alone. I took her hand and introduced myself. She gave me a big hug and started to cry. We exchanged numbers and realized we were neighbours. We texted back and forth a few times last night and this morning and we're planning on going to a few meetings together. I told her that I've only been in the program for 6 weeks and that I didn't really know what I was doing either. I'm worried that she'll turn to me for answers that I don't have.
Was it OK for me to offer service when I don't really have the tools to give it? I'm feeling very conflicted on this. I don't want to get in the way of her healing (or my own). SOme advice please?
all you are doing is connecting as sisters in the program. Not as sponsor and sponsee. Its great to have a buddy in recovery to connect with and sometimes it helps a lot to have someone to go to meetings with. Like going to the gym with someone- they help you to get there and you help them to get there.
Nothing is accidental. You are exactly where you need to be in this moment. How nice that you are neighbors, too. Just take it slow and keep it real and just attend as many meetings together as you possibly can! And attend some without her, too- just go go go go!!! Hugs, J.
We are all equals when we enter the rooms, no one is better or more qualified than anyone else. All we can do is share our experience, strength and hope in the Program and let the other person take what they like and leave the rest. It is not your job to tell her what to do (nor her job to tell you). You can simply support each other as you learn more about the Program and life with an A.
Keep coming back!!
SLS
-- Edited by SLS at 19:17, 2008-10-24
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Do not be anxious about tomorrow; tomorrow will look after itself. The Bible, from Courage to Change, p.138
I think it is great!!! When I was newer in the program, I only felt comfortable with people that were also newer. The Old timers intimidated me in a way. And what is really nice is that we have all grown together. There is a bond that forms between people who come in at the same time I think. It is special.
I think you did the best thing in the world. Who knows, if you hadn't gone after her maybe she would have never gone back. Goodjob, reef!!!
Are u kidding me ??? is it ok ,you bet it is . Am proud of u for reaching out to her . give yourself a hug girl . we can only share our own experience u may be only 7 weeks in recovery but u have 7 more than she did . and u probably made a new friend to boot . *hugs* WELL DONE Louise
Welcome to the MIP family! Here you will find great experience, hope, strength, wisdom and humor (good for the ). I am so proud of you for taking the bull by the horns and working so hard at your recovery, so early on. You will only be stronger and better for it in the end. It was absolutely the right thing to reach out to that poor girl. I had such a bad experience at my early Alanon meetings that I didn't go back, for a very long time. (Thank goodness I found this board!) If I had encountered someone like you, it would have turned the tide. I wish both you and your boyfriend all the best in your recoveries. Keep up the great work. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty <--the cat
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
). I am so proud of you for taking the bull by the horns and working so hard at your recovery, so early on. 
You will only be stronger and better for it in the end. It was absolutely the right thing to reach out to that poor girl. I had such a bad experience at my early Alanon meetings that I didn't go back, for a very long time. (Thank goodness I found this board!) If I had encountered someone like you, it would have turned the tide. I wish both you and your boyfriend all the best in your recoveries. Keep up the great work. Love and blessings to you and your family.