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Post Info TOPIC: Just here...


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 514
Date:
Just here...


Up and down like a yoyo.

One minute I am okay, the next I am sobbing.

So much unfinished business between me and my papa.

Each time I eat I am sick, so I am trying to keep the fluids up.

Feel empty and lost and lacklustre.  It is hard enough just getting up everyday and my crutches feel like they weigh ten tons right now, I so want to kick them into touch.

Okay, enough, I am exhausted AGAIN.  Will I ever get the peaceful and serene life I yearn for and try so hard to work at?
Suzannah

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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.

Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3656
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(((((Suzannah))),

I know that feeling really well.  I too am struggling.  I miss my Tim so much.  There are times I get angry at him for leaving me (as if he had a choice?), especially when things are really stressful.  I know this is a normal part of grief.  But like you, I am tired.  I am tired of feeling sad, lonely, angry, you name it.  Add the economic stress, work stresses, etc. it's a hard road we travel.  It's one of the reasons I get up and come here everyday.   It' s my routine and it does help.   All we can do is hang in there.  Remember they are both in a better place.  I am sure my honey is out there hunting  and playing with his favorite dog.  I know he's with me, as his pansies bloomed.   Pansies don't bloom in the fall.  So I know he's okay.   We'll be okay too,

One thing that helped me when I lost my parents was to write a letter to them.  It was cathartic.  I really didn't have any issues with them.  But I was not there when my Dad passed because his second wife didn't count my sister and I as his daughters.  So I needed to say things to Dad that I wasn't able to when he was alive.  Perhaps you might try that with your Dad.  It's a way of getting things out. Remember to be gentle with yourself.  We can't heal instantly.  This is a slow process.  Bit by bit we will come out of this.  I have to believe that.  It's what keeps me going.  ODAT mt friend.  Love and blessings to you and your family.

Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty pray.gif


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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.


Senior Member

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Posts: 237
Date:

  (((((Suzannah))))


I prayed for you this morning.

You were in my thoughts.

I'm glad you got to a pc,I wasnt sure if you were still at your sons.

You are a brave and strong person, I reckon if you did kick your crutches in to touch they'd probably land on the moon. smile

Take care and be gentle on yourself, you've been through so much recently. Peace and Serenity are there for you, put yourself in the hands of your HP. 

With love, hugs and Gratitude Carol

-- Edited by Mariner at 10:33, 2008-10-23

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 4578
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I don't think you are alone by any means. I am doing a 4th step and looking at various realtionships.  So much is up when we care to examine things.  Do be good to yourself and not push yourself. Certain cultures give themselves a year. Why do you need to break all records in processing grief?

I hope you will be able to take care of yourself and be kind.

Maresie.

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maresie


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2677
Date:

(((((S)))))

As they say time heals. My father died 25 years ago and I still wonder what if? I am learning to appreciate what he did do.

In support,
Nancy

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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 577
Date:

I hear  you and wish you comfort
HP listens and hears us
My parents are gone, my mom last summer
I am hoping they hear me too
and perhaps your papa can hear you now
better than before, I do not know
Keeping you in my prayers
Stay in the light whenever you can  sun.gif
hugs, ddub

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"Choices are the hinges of destiny."  Pythagoras         You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
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