The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I find that Mondays are the hardest day of the week for me. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's bc my f2f meetings are on Tuesdays and I rely on them to get me through the majority of the week??? It seems that Monday is the day that I become most nostalgic, too. I am logical about why my ex Abf and I not together, and I'm logical about why he moved out of our house, but there are the times when I think back to the good times and the hopes we had for a future together.
I just feel so lonely on these nights where it's getting cold out and the sun is setting earlier and when I have to eat dinner alone bc no friends are around and I'm too tired to pick myself up and go out...I just find myself looking around the house and remembering the times he'd come home from work and I would have that comfort feeling that I always had with him near me. I miss that feeling. When he was with me, I was warm and I was complete. I felt solid and like I could do anything. (This, of course, was when he was sober.)
I'm fighting the urge to contact him tonight, which is what I seem to do on Mondays now. But what would I say to him? I miss you? This is hard? I want things back? I don't even know how true that is anymore. Do I really want him back--sober or not??? How do I know for sure that I will ever be able to trust him even if he does get sober (which is a long way away). How do I know if I'm supposed to "wait" for him? I thought he was the love of my life, but I am so confused now, I don't know what to think.
The A who I was with got so bad that I realized that that man was gone. I do believe he has disappeared judging by the way the A has behaved in recent years.
For me it was comforting to realize he was gone and not coming back
I can empathise with the loneliness that is why the steps are so helpful they take up a lot of time. The other thing is if you are online you can always go the chat room.
A Sunday night meeting! What a great idea!!! I don't know why I never thought of that! It's hard enough for me to get to the one on Tuesdays, so a Sunday meeting might just do the trick. Thanks for the idea!
