The past couple jobs I have had were horrible. I feel like I have to lie on the interview because the stories are so horrible and I feel shameful for what has happened. Being a single mother with no child support is no picnic in the work world. This is not a self pity statement; just the truth.

Got my first really awesome paying job. I was so excited that my daughter and I would be able to live comfortably. During the interview I was asked, "Where was the last place you went on vacation?" I felt like this was an odd question, but answered it anyway. That was the biggest mistake. I started the job and my boss seemed kind of abrasive. It wasn't long before he would send me text messages on my phone late at night. He started calling me while I was out on the road seeing clients demanding that I answer my phone when he called. I was so scared. I kept trying to figure out why he was doing what he was doing. His behavior escalated and I came to the conclusion that he was interested in me, but didn't know how to communicate. I now know that this was me tricking myself to survive. It wasn't long before we started dating. One night he took me to a friend's house for dinner and here came the pornography. A video of his friend and girlfriend performing sexual acts were shown to everyone at the table. I was so deep in denial that I tried to brush it off. Inside I was terrified. Pornography popped up on his table at his house. I knew I was in trouble, but kept telling myself that I could handle this. Then it happened, he raped me. I was in a state of shock and kept trying to use denial to not face what had really happened. He had clients harass me by phone when I refused to work in the office anymore.

I quit and found a job at another company right away. I was a basketcase the entire time I was working at this company. I couldn't tell anyone what had happened. I couldn't even figure out what had happened to me anyway. My manager got so fed up with my whiny and crying behavior that he punched me. I fled out the door and lived off credit cards until I could mentally pull myself together. I couldn't pull myself together in time to get another job. My daughter and I lost our apartment and went and stayed with my mother. She was not happy at all. And, I couldn't tell her what had happened because she is the same person who enabled my father to abuse me. I had to grin and bear it best I could. I got a job with a temp agency and did some temp jobs. It wasn't much, but I was happy to have a job. I was offered a job at a company and worked on the help desk. At this point, I was terrified of every man who crossed my path. I must have seemed very odd to the people who worked there because I was so withdrawn. I was still traumatized by what had happened to me. I tried to pretend everyting was okay at times, but behind closed doors I was dying inside. I was and still am deep in debt from living on credit cards. Things got bad at my mother's house with her drinking and screaming, so I left and stayed with someone from Alanon.

I was laid off at my job along with more than a dozen people. I found a new job before my last day at work. I was able to move out and get a 1 br apt for me and my daughter. It was like heaven. I had to sleep in the living room, but I felt such peace. I started my new job and things didn't seem quite right. Little did I know, but I was in the midst of pornography, alcohol, and drugs. My boss started making comments about going to strip clubs and the fear set in. I was so scared thinking I must be a horrible person for this to happen to again. I was friends with the man from Alanon and would keep in contact to survive. I started looking for another job. I kept praying and asking God for help. My boss called me into his office and said he felt our relationship was very distant and that the budget was too high, so he laid me off. I was so relieved to get out of there and scared about financially surviving.

I have been collecting unemployment and am barely making ends meet. Unemployment caught my boss in lies, so that is why I am able to get unemployment. Now when potentials employers ask what happened at my previous jobs, I don't know what to tell them. What do I tell a potential employer about my previous jobs? Do I tell them the truth? I keep praying a miracle will happen.