The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
That even though I am still get stuck in the muck, I have come along way since this program. I used to cry and cry, by myself, in the dark, about how much everything sucked and how there wasn't a thing I could do about it. Then I would get mad at myself for being so futile. Or I would get so angry I wanted to scream, but I would clench my jaw and put my hands to my head. Later I would have such a migraine I couldn't do anything. I worried so much that something would happen to him, and I would be stuck. All I can really say is that it's not like that anymore. People can see the difference, even if they don't know what's going on. They say "You've changed, you've come around". Thanks everyone
__________________
I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
It is always so great to get that kind of affirmation. I recognize for myself, when I really take the time to look, that changes are happening to me as a benefit of being involved in Al-anon. But it is such a great gift when someone tells me points it out to me that I seem so much happier, etc.
In fact, just last night at my ftf meeting, a woman whom I have known since the beginning of my Al-alife (hehe) came to the meeting. She is from AA and was my ex's first sponsor, AND the person whom suggested to my wife that I attend an AA conference that was my introduction to Al-anon. She was having some "issues" with her son and knew that an Al-anon meeting is what she needed. She came in right before the meeting and all of us "regulars" where sitting around joking, laughing and having a grand ole time, before we got things started.
Later during a share she commented on what a wonderful, happy group of people we were. Certainly, has seen the changes in all of us. I know it, we all know it, but it is so easy for me to forget and to take my new found lifestyle for granted. It made me feel so great for her to say what she did. It was so great to see her leave after the meeting a little lighter, with a smile on her face after coming in so distraught and fearful.
I still get "stuck in the mud" sometimes too, but at least I know who to call with a big truck and some chains that can pull me out!
What a great post. I too get stuck in the muck but I work pretty hard on not being there for long. My life is anything but the way I want it to be but I am accepting of it now in ways I was not before.
Jamie, Great share. The knowledge that we continue to grow in this program is shown to me numerous times each day. The tools of the program become a lifestyle. After two years in the program how many times a day does that little silent voice in my head say, Rodney, how important is it, or count to ten slowly before you say something in haste you will regret, or my favorite ---discusson going the wrong way stopper, just saying --- "you might be right"--- it works every time.
I am proud of where I am, and I'm not going to forget how far I have come. I also realize how far I have to go. It is not the destination, it is the journey that is the most important.
