The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Life.....barely livable around our home the past week. Much chaos and messiness with a-son, his EX, our health issues, our marital problems from said messes.
Please remember our family this week. We have crucial medical appointments. Mine, especially, could impact the future so dramatically. My spouse will be facing more surgery, I am sure. The son is trying to start new schooling to improve his chances for employment (unemployed for 3 months). The EX is headed for a five day vacation with current boyfriend, leaving grandchild with us. I don't want the child anywhere else, but difficult timing. Son trying hard to stay sober; not sure he is being successful. I am trying to stay out of everything. I don't even want to answer the phone today because yesterday and this morning, heck breaks loose easily with him. If it is his EX on the phone, not good either because she usually wants something from me that is hard to deliver. I deliver. I can't refuse my grandchild.
Thanks for reading my post. This is the only place I can talk.....isn't that sort of sad? I have no one else and nowhere else to turn where I can remain anonymous and safe. Lots of people who are in my life wouln't believe what a mess we are in.
I can relate to your post Joyoma. I hid, for a long time, deep in my own heart because I did not want anyone to know. Found out they knew without me telling them. Friends and loved ones can sense our anger, frustration, sadness, and confusion when we attempt to deal with an alcoholic situation alone. It came to the point where I didn't care who knew as long as I could talk to someone and get some help. If you have no one else in whom to confide, I am glad you have this safe place to come.
My thoughts and positive energy will be with you as you face the coming days.
Keep the faith, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Sending you extra love and prayers while you go through this difficult time. As hard as it, try and focus on your needs (not an easy thing to do while chaos is running amok). Let us know how your tests come out. Try and stay positive that all will be well. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Thanks, Diva and Karilynn! It is good to have support when you are down.
I had to laugh Sunday afternoon when EXDIL called to ask me about taking grandchild to school and picking up this week. No problem, I said. (what else??) The tyke broke a little bone in his foot on monkey bars and is in a cast/walking boot for three weeks, so he needs controlled hours at school. Then, choking it out, she said "______ (boyfriend) bought me a ticket for a 7 day cruise next month. I don't know if I will go (LOL LOL!!) but my sister says I shouldn't miss it and _____will be fine with y'all if you can keep him that long without a burden." Wow....wouldn't I also love a 7 day cruise!! BUT......I said no problem (what else) as I don't want that child anywhere else but with his family...my family. She mentioned a friend taking him but admitted that this friend is "lax" in supervision, etc. (Not to mention a real nasty person to me.) Soooo....IF she goes this will be 12 days of vacation for her in two months time. She has already planned how my family's holidays will be organized with the child.....last year she got mad at me and we didn't see him at all on Thanksgiving or Christmas. Sooo....no problem (what else?) But I did laugh at that call because it was so self-fulfilling. I know when the phone rings someone wants something!!
Anyway, son started his schooling today and his class is larger than normal. The teacher asked if it was because of the economy??? RESOUNDING YESSES all around. So we hope for the best for him. At least he tries. If he shoots himself in the foot, it won't be his first wound, ya' know?
The busy, hard week has begun. I am taking it ODAT and saying lots of prayers. Thanks!
I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you, hoping and praying for you too. Will your son be able to give you a bit of relief from childcare? Maybe take G-son to a park so you can have some space?
I've watched my 4 yr. old G-son for a full day when needed and was exhausted..and I'm in good health. You're a strong woman Oma.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
The more detached I can get the less I fall into comparing my life to others.
Of course it is great that you get to see your grandchildren.
I don't doubt your ExDIL is a real pain to deal with. I am sorry your son remains hyper reactive to her. I know I have ms. queen bee hyper reactivity in the past. The more I focus on myself and my life the less reactive I become. I can be triggered and have to name my triggers pretty regularly. For me personally my triggers all belong to a childhood replete with abandonment and despair.
I know for me personally when i have a lot on I really have to look at my expectations.
Hope everything works out ok. I know what you mean with the grandchild. Have to take care of them. One Day At A Time. Work your program and your HP may surprise you with more people to talk to that are safe.
