The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
ok, so I am a hard nut to crack. I want to recover and I want it now. 14 mos of al anon and I am surrounded by messages of the same topic. I might just be getting it when a spiritual 2 x 4 hits me hard between the eyes so I am waving a white flag of surrender. This will take me time....... too much time but worth the effort. So I drop my stick and accept that my progress is slow. I should not compare myself to growth of others in this program. My readings today included these gems:
"don't just do somthing, just sit there" - there may be great change inside and little evidence outside
through Al Anon I understand that I have the power to turn on the light for a clear view of my life, the good and the bad. light always dispels the darkness and HP said 'Let there be Light"
You can't eat an elephant all at once, you eat it one mouthful at a time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I can also put the stick down as I know that once I get it - something new, then I forget it so this also affects the time line. Waves white flag again.........
Learning to share in HP's struggle for kindness, justice and righteousness will require significant changes for us. It cannot be done in a one time event. It will be a life-time quest. We will forget and remember again. We will run away and come back again. But each day in the struggle we will grow in our capacity for delight. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A lifetime quest is a very long time. I think I need way too much encouragement, I feel too needy and whiney. I guess I need a hug. ?!? I don't wanna, I gotta, I'm gonna, I will - I can and I will start a new at a slow but more focused pace, I hope. ddub
-- Edited by canadianguy at 17:34, 2008-10-08
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
You mirror many of us and our feelings. Why, why me, why not more, what to do, what not to do, has anything really changed? If we work the 12 steps than we have to let go and let god. Hard I know. But there is something better I know.
well good for you dbub it's about time hehe . It really gets easier ya know when u just let go , my first 3 yrs in program were rough seems something was always going wrong , the more i looked at in a new perspective His stuff and mine my life got alot simpler . I do not have to solve all the problems that raise thier ugly head . duh !!! This is a simple program but never confuse it with EASY break it down into one day at a time and life is much more managable . keep doing what your doin . Louise
For me personally the times when it seemed like not much was going on were actually times of tremendous change for me. I am glad you are here. One day at a time mounts up after a while. My model of detachment is so much better these days.
Maresie, I think you hit the nail right on the head. I have found that usually when I think I am stuck and backtracking, there is usually a bigger spurt of growth coming. Now I try to let go and just wait for it. Much less stressful that way. Sometimes much easier said than done, though.
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
