Again, I want to express how thankful I am for this board and all the members, posts, and replies. I can identify with so many of you. In one post about the A's recovery it said that we can't control their recovery just as much as we can't control their drinking. This is so true.

I too am doing my best at not judging my A's path in recovery, whether he is in recovery, or just dry. I am thankful he is going to meetings, even though it's just once a week now or twice. He has no sponsor and is not working the steps, but as one of the members said, her A is doing all that but still is just dry.

I am learning how to deal with him better, and it is good for both of us. Yes, there are still many things that I wish would be different, but I can only do my part.

I am grateful he is not drinking, I am grateful that he does see my point of view at some point, even if it takes a week. There are improvements.

Today he is not working, but gone to a fleamarket. I wondered in my head why he didn't stay home, but then I told myself he is making his own choices. He's out doing 'something', something other than sitting home watching TV. Plus he's there with a friend, and we all need friends. He did tell me where he was, did not hide it.

I didn't get upset, he's making his own choices. When he was active and didn't work because of rain, he went to the bar. So, I'm thankful. Red flags certainly come up fast nowdays, I recognize them, and I can choose to deal with it accordingly.